Sep 30 2008
dear september
dear september,
you’ve been a great month. i turned 32. we bought a house. you have more birthdays in you than any other single month that i know. i don’t know what’s up with that. you’ve given us good weather for EVERY single fall soccer game. and that’s unheard of. september, you rock. until 2009!
love,
~jess
******
dear nablopomo,
please remind me to never, EVER do this again. i almost died. i don’t know if posting every day was worth it. most of the time, it was a giant pain in the ass. i’m so glad this shit is over.
fuck off and die,
~jess
******
dear realtor/mortgage dude/mortgage dude’s processor,
y’all rock. thanks for being so awesome to work with. you made our dreams of home ownership possible. i owe you a beer or three…or at least a mormon coffee. (mountain dew!)
sincerely,
~jess
p.s. i’ll send clients your way, i promise. just give me time.
******
dear paul,
we cannot move by ourselves. please quit acting like we don’t need or want help. that’s bullshit. i TOTALLY NEED AND WANT HELP. for the love of god, LET PEOPLE HELP US. we rule! together we are unstoppable. not only can i NOT believe we are married (i’m so lucky) but i can’t believe we just bought a house. i bought a house with my best friend and lover. it’s the coolest thing in the whole damn world. and we get to share it with our kids and our dogs and those asshat cats.
love always,
~jess
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dear 4th quarter of 2008,
i have a major quota to meet. and if you aren’t good to me, i’m not gonna make it. i’ll be good, i promise, just PLEASE PLEASE let me close some goddamn business. maybe i’ll need to quit swearing. i promise i will if you just let me hit my quota. maybe. ok, fuck that. bad idea. who am i kidding?
suck it hard,
~jess
******
dear stormy,
you are doing so good at this housebreaking thing. can you keep it up when we move?? i’m gonna be really pissed if you pee in our new house. as in REALLY PISSED.
thanks for being a teddy bear,
~jess
******
dear jake,
surprise! your room does NOT clean itself. MOVE YOUR BONES and get that room clean. i’m really proud of you and the little man you are growing into. you’re smarter than ever and i can’t believe you are going to be ten soon. i don’t know if that seems like a milestone to you, but a decade is a really big deal….that’s FIVE on BOTH hands. that’s a damn long time, buddy. keep doing the right stuff and good things will happen to you.
love you so much,
~mom
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dear jenna,
you have turned into a sassy little princess. you have only one big front tooth and practically no other teeth on the top. i want to laugh every time you talk or smile. you seriously got ripped off on corn on the cob this summer. you drive me nuts b/c you talk back - but there is so much brain power in your talking back that you are hard to resist. i can just see the wheels turning. learn to use that wit smartly and you’ll be scary when you grow up.
stay on your toes. mom loves you.
hugs and kisses,
~mom
******
dear reader,
i’m so glad you come visit me every day. i know you don’t always comment. but i hope i make you laugh or smile. i haven’t used many cuss words this month, so hopefully you’ll look past my eff bombs today. if you are ever in town, come over for a diet dew and a plate full of something homemade. but wait till we move, ok? i write mostly for me, but really i want you to keep coming back because you find me so charming.
peace out,
~jess
p.s. don’t hold your breath for my next post. 
Stumble it!
I truly believe that the reason there are so many September birthdays is people celebrating Christmas and ringing in the new year with lots of SEX! Congrats on making it through everyday posting and buying your new home. I can’t wait to see it. If we can help with the move, we would be happy to!!!
LMAO! I visit you site because you rock! and I love seeing what wierd crazy stuff you come up with next! And really who can resist your charm right?
I loved this post. If I ever get to go back home. I might suprise you with some mormon coffee as a house warming gift.( but only if we can bust one open right then and there.)
Good luck on the house. remind your hubby that many hands. make light work( wow. that pegs me doesn’t it.)
Whilie I don’t blame your for taking a break from the blog world don’t dissappear too long!
Post pic of the house! I want to see!
if you haven’t posted by halloween i may go through withdrawals. some pics of the house once you’re moved in would be a lot of fun. congrats again on the house. isn’t it great?!
Great letters. I love writing blogs in the form of letters. Sometimes it’s the easiest way to say what you mean.
Also, I love soccer.
I am excited for new house pictures!
Also, please do not stop swearing. It brings me joy.
Cold weather+snuggling=September babies!
Love the letters!
If mountain dew is Mormon coffee then why don’t Mormons like me?!?
I am going to the Logan Zoo on Friday morning.
I enjoyed all the posts. They were all great…..you got to write balls and nuts…..they were great.
Loved this post. Funny shit. And I stopped last night and said Hi to Laura as she was frantically trying to get out of your house. I’m happy for you to be getting that house. It’s a cool house and Laura was the bomb when they remodled. You’ll enjoy it. I’ll have to come visit ya out there~I’ll bring the dew!
I’ve been reading! But lost in my own world…
September was a pretty good month! I hate that my birthday is in September, or that I have a birthday at all, but it was good nevertheless. Here’s to a great October! Or a merely passable one…
Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!!!!
Congrats on the new house!!
Congrats on completing NoMoBloMo!
Crossing fingers on the no peeing in the house thing.
Happy October!!