See Hear Speak No Evil

today we were at sam’s club…and i was examining some giant pork tenderloins. they were only $1.97 a pound, and i was trying to decide if i wanted to buy one or not.

jake says, “mom! how do you cook pork lion anyway?” (no, that is NOT a typo.)

me: “pork lion?”

jake: yeah, pork lion. that’s what these are called.

me: no they aren’t. they are PORK LOIN.

jake: oh. well, i like pork lion better. that’s what i call it.

he then proceeded to talk about pork lion for the next ten minutes. how do i cook pork lion??

on new years eve, we were all getting ready to go over to bridge’s house for a night of debauchery food and games. paul had just gotten out of the shower and was singing in the bathroom. he was just being a dork…he knew i could hear him. jenna laughed and said, “mom, you have a good husband.”

jenna told her grandma, her very mormon grandma, on christmas day that “my mom lets me drink coffee ALL THE TIME.”

then jake chimes in, “yeah, she does. we drink it every weekend!!”

that is SOOO not true. thanks, jenna. you have a giant mouth. and jake, you are no help.

jenna: “mom, would you like a mountain dew?”

me: “why yes, yes i would.”

jenna: coming right up.

she brings it in and then stands there and waits for me to open it. when i don’t right away she says, “moooom. i wanted a drink of that!!”

very generous of her, dontcha think??

now THIS is something i might be interested in: a storm trooper kick line! wookies and ewoks singing! woot!

from nme.com:

‘Star Wars: A Musical Journey’ has been signed off by the films’ creator George Lucas, with the two-hour show set to be performed at the London O2 Arena on April 10, reports Eonline.com.

i really like episodes 4, 5 and 6. not enough to see them 47 times or to stand in line for tickets for hours… however, i might be interested in watching star wars: the musical. at least in 3 minute segments on youtube, that is.

bwah. ha. ha.

If’n ya’ll don’t know who Eddie Izzard is, you’re in for a real treat! I love this Death Star Cantina bit, but I have to wonder how much time it took these guys to put it to legos? Does anyone else think their effort could have been better utilized. Think, they could have figured out how to get solar and wind energy from the western US to the rest of the country…

in honor of the LAST day of nablopomo, i’ve created a little meme. feel free to use this if you want for YOUR final post, if you haven’t written it already. after we did this last year, i said, “we are NOT doing that again. EVER.” but here we are, another month of nablopomo has come and gone and WE MADE IT. we posted EVERY SINGLE DAY in november.

here’s that meme…

fill in your favorite for each of the following:

1. Political show: thank god nablopomo is over!

2. Picnic food: did you hear? it’s the LAST day of nablopomo!

3. Mixed drink: yes, i’d LOVE one! nablopomo is finite!!!

4. U.S. President: holy cow! he did nablopomo, too? i bet he’s REALLY glad it’s over.

5. Kind of student to teach: any kid who can write a post every day for a month, that’s who.

6. Hobby you do or wish you still did: what are hobbies? i’ve been TOO BUSY BLOGGING.

7. Sports commentator: have really boring blogs. and they don’t do nablopomo.

8. Sport to watch on TV: what are sports? what is television? I’M STUCK IN TEH INTERWEBZ…

9. Animal to have as a pet: a fat cat to sit on your keyboard while you bang out 30 post in 30 days.

10. Halloween costume you have worn: i dressed up as nablopomo. no one got it.

11. Kind of dessert: have you heard? NABLOPOMO is over! and the girls at SHSNE MADE IT!

12. Comic strip: nablopomo is over!! tell your friends!

13. Ice cream flavor: any flavor without the words “NABLOPOMO” in the title.

14. News source: the nablopomo blogroll. hello!!!

15. Vacation spot: have i said i am SO GLAD nablopomo is over???

16. Wine: yes, i am whining. sorry. but november is FINALLY over.

17. Way to waste time instead of working: writing a blog post for nablopomo.

18. Reality show: nablopomo: when blogging goes bad…next on FOX!

19. Childrens movie: ding dong! nablopomo is dead! (at least for this month…)

20. Celebrity you wish would retire: NABLOPOMO!! RETIRED AT LAST for 2008!!!

and only b/c i have NOTHING else to say today.

i’ll apologize in advance.

apparently, hitler had only one testicle. i never knew this.

from foxnews.com:

Hitler’s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians dismissed the “one ball” song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler backed it up.

i can’t help but to LMAO.

and from wikipedia, my favorite source of absolutely CORRECT information on the interwebz:

Records show that Hitler was wounded in 1916 during the Battle of the Somme, and some sources describe his injury as a wound to the groin. Hitler’s World War I company commander has said that a VD exam found that Hitler had only one testicle.

this post is just another example of the high quality you’ve come to expect from us here at SHSNE when we have to post every day.

i got this video in my email earlier this week… and it’s definitely been passed around more than once. the reason for that is because it’s absolutely hilarious. i laugh every time i see it. i share it only because i have nothing to write about…and hey, who couldnt use a laugh?

i’m sure you’ve all seen those motivational posters. you know, the ones that have a super positive craptastic word like “persistence” underneath a photo of some random dude crossing the finish line last, with a cheesy sentence underneath that says something like “even when your best isn’t good enough, you keep on keepin’ on.”

and on the flip side, you have the DEmotivators. because of my sarcastic wit and charm, i like the demotivators A LOT. my dear friend brenda sent me a link to an ENTIRE list of these luscious little posters and today i’d like to share with you some of my favorites. however…you really should check them all out. after all, you have time. and most likely, you’re reading this at work anyway. here’s a link.

i love this because everyone knows someone like this, right?? if you don’t, lucky you.

ha. ha. ha. hilarious, right?

i just like that there is a horse’s ass in this picture. if i could read, i’d know what the words say.

scarily accurate.

side-splitting, right? well, it makes me LOL.

wow. there is nothing i can say better than that.

you know, this might be a lot funnier if it didn’t hit so close to home. tee hee.

dude. the only thing that would make this poster more accurate is if it had a picture of me on it. you know what would be really funny? if i wasn’t kidding.

you wouldn’t want my sanity anyway.

and last, but certainly not least: