See Hear Speak No Evil

Unlike Jess, I am NOT giving my full name. Hey, I don’t have to. It’s not like I agreed to full disclosure here.

Here are my resolutions:
1. Run a half-marathon.
2. Get out of my house more, and not just for work. I’m talking about socializing n’ shit (this one may be the most difficult)
3. Figure out how to meet people. Seriously, can anyone tell me how people meet people? Maybe part of my problem is that I don’t do #2 very often.
4. Read more. Especially books by authors whom I have not yet read. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated and re-paid with good karma headed your way.
5. Get out of my house more (believe you me, this one bears repeating. Once it’s written, man, I am OBLIGATED.)
6. Blog more. I’d like to start out with the goal of twice a week. That seems reasonable. And totally do-able.

I think I’ll print this post and hang it somewhere so I can refer to it often and hopefully it will keep me motivated. If you, dear readers, feel at any point during this year, like asking how I’m doing on my resolutions, I will appreciate that as well.

HAPPY 2008! Be sure to engage in lots of debauchery for me because I am likely NOT doing #2 this evening (yeah, I’m a loser but that shouldn’t be news to any of you.) MWAH!

yeah, yeah, yeah….my real name is jessica. but i’m sure you knew that.

i used “jessica” because i want you to know just how serious these resolutions are - oh, they’re serious, man!

1. spend less, save more. easy enough, right?
2. buy a new car. shit. shoulda referred to resolution number one. but i really do need a new car. mine celebrates its 14th birthday this year and it really is on the last legs.
3. yell less at my kids. even though that seems to be the only way their ears work. should i take them an ear nose throat specialist?
4. keep my home cleaner. this should be easy, as we’re moving to a house with CLOSETS (a phenomenon, i know) and a garage! i’m sooo excited. in fact, that is exactly why my writing has been light and i haven’t been visiting YOUR place as often as i would like. i’ll come by with coffee as soon as i get all settled in, i promise.
5. quit smoking. again. for the 57th time. i can do it if i want to…the trouble is that i really don’t want to. if you’ve never smoked, you won’t understand, so don’t leave hate comments about the smoking unless you’ve actually been a smoker. you should know that i never smoke in the car with my kids and if i only had five bucks left to my name i’d buy milk instead of cigarettes.
6. get stormy 100 percent housebroken, instead of “being almost there.”
7. learn to live even greener. i already recycle, but i want to learn more about what i can do to live green.
8. be more serious about blogging if i can find the time.
9. research starting my own business.
10. i wanted to round out my list with ten solid resolutions, but i can’t think of another one, so cram it.

i wish you the very best new year ever. may your new year’s eve be filled with friends, family, laughter, alcohol and debauchery. or not alcohol if you are one of those peeps who chooses not to imbibe. i’ll be drinking my six-dollar ballatore gran spumante champagne and chilling with pals. while i should be moving.

xoxo. 2007 has been a great year. i’ve met wonderful souls (too many to link…check out our blogroll) and i can’t wait for 2008.

Once again Jeffy tagged not one, but THREE of us to come up with 7 things about ourselves that most people don’t know.

You probably all know this by now… 7 things about Bridge

1. I hate unloading the dishwasher. I have no problem loading it, but absolutely hate unloading it. This would explain why my husband now hates unloading the dishwasher.

2. I have nightmares all the time. I once heard that Stephen King writes stories based on dreams he has. My dreams could rival his.

3. I just made an offer on a commercial building last night. /gasps. Yes, a real offer. I think I need to faint.

4. I am afraid I will not succeed.

5. Um, I want to buy a storm trooper costume and become a member of the 501st brigade. Yep, I am a geek.

6. I will totally steal Al’s life-sized cardboard cut out of Darth Vader next time I visit her. I figured she stole it first anyways. Why not? I’ll call it Opperation I Am Your Father, or OIAYF for short. Whatever that means. LOL.

7. I’ve been shot at and shot in my life. I hate guns.

There you go! I hope you learned something.

My son made a poem about Christmas this year. The poem was about how Christmas isn’t about toys (yeah right), but is about how families come together.

It was adorable.

This year not only my parents, but my in-laws came to my house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It should have been a stressful situation with me wishing I was anywhere else, but it wasn’t. I think my husband bought enough beer and wine for once. They drank egg nog. I drank wine. We all ate way too much. That was just Christmas Eve. Then we started all over again. I should mention that the egg nog WASN’T spiked.

Christmas day went well as well. Isn’t that swell? Please someone hit me now. I even cracked a beer open really late at 11:30 AM. We let the kids play with Santa gifts then made breakfast. Then we all opened all of our gifts. I got pans. Pans I purchased myself. My husband got clothes. Clothes he purchased himself. LAME.

What wasn’t lame is that I had friends over for dinner, and friends over for games. Loralee mentioned that she hated Christmas Day afternoon since all the hype was over. Well at my house I try to make the entire day fun. They came over and had dinner, and then we played games. Jess then came over to play games as well.

We played Boggle.

I suck at Boggle. Loralee and Jess do not.

We played Scattegories.

I am alright, but Loralee is great. I really shouldn’t play games with her since she always kicks my ass. DO NOT PLAY LIFE WITH HER!!!

For the record… when playing Scattegories with your in-laws you should probably not write “cum stains” when you get the letter “C” and have to write “something that you could find in Las Vegas.” Just thought you would like to know.

Here are some fun pictures of Christmas Day.

My kids before they opened ALL of their presents.

My mom and my daughter. I will honestly cherish this picture just for the expressions on their faces.

I would call this picture blackmail. Isn’t my dad cute when he plays Barbies?

Then my dad danced with my daughter? How cute is that?

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. Travel safe.

We, at SHSNE have been tagged by our friend Jeffy to come up with 7 things about ourselves that most people don’t know.

So here goes. These are 7 things you probably don’t know about Al.

1. I don’t always flush after I pee (what is it with me and mentioning urine in my posts). It is just me using the toilet and I (Bridge is freaking out right now. I only do this at my own house so calm down would you?) don’t see any reason to waste the water by flushing every time I pee.

2. I’ve never been in love. Oh, there have been a few times that I thought I was but, as it turns out, it was something not quite unlike love but it was also not so different from a strong like.

3. I call myself a psuedo-geologist. If I could put it on my business card as my official title, I would.

4. I devised a new rating system for the opposite sex. It’s got to take off soon enough because it’s based on booze. Read the original post here.

5. I’ve stolen street signs in two different states and transported them across state lines (I think that makes me a felon).

6. I have a life-sized cardboard cut out of Darth Vader walked out of a bowling alley with me (somehow totally unnoticed by any of the staff or security guards) after a short night of drinking and tossing a ball down a lane every now and again.

7. I put honey on my toes and had some guy lick it off… a whole nother post.

so, i happen to think i’m a pretty hip (not the hip bone) mom. by hip i mean that i like my kids to wear the latest fashions (it’s hard enough being a kid without having to wear floods, used shoes from the local thrift store and ugly sweatshirts), i let them wear their hair how they choose and i know what music is “cool” right now. i like to watch x games and i like to play guitar hero. as far as moms who are “with it,” i think i’m up fairly high on the list of bad ass moms. if i would let jake use the term “bad ass,” he’d use it to describe me, i’m sure of it. for the record, bridge is also on this list, and i think al would be, too, if she were dumb enough to have gone ahead and push out a couple of kiddos.

however, something happened christmas night that i personally think may have lowered my hip quotient. exponentially. (that’s a shit load of math terms for someone who really hated math in school, by the way…)

here’s the conversation that took place:

bridge: so nat is totally having a hannah montana birthday party next month.

jess: really? jenna LOOOOOOOOOVES hannah montana! hey! i have both the hannah montana cd’s…do you want to burn them?

bridge: oh i have those. but let me check and see if we have the same ones.

jess: well, if you don’t, let me know. i’ll hook you up. i also have both of the high school musical cd’s.

it dawned on me sometime yesterday that my “hip” (and i use quotes, but i thought i knew what hip was, but apparently i’m so far from hip that i’m more like an ear or an ankle) factor has seriously diminished as a result of two critical things: 1 - i actually OWN the effing miley cyrus discography; 2 - i was EXCITED ABOUT IT; and 3 - (yes, i know i originally said 2) i actually admitted in PUBLIC that i OWN what may be possibly the gayest (not that there’s anything wrong with that) cd’s ever recorded.

and if you can follow my line of thinking in spite of all my asides (contained nicely within parenthetical brackets), you’re pretty freaking hip.

yeah, i know. yet another weak post from SHSNE land, but i’m on vacation this week, so please give me a break. i’m also getting ready to move and doing the post christmas clean up, so i need your patience.

i got this survey from sjs falter…

Surveys Are Easy

THE TRICK TO THIS SURVEY IS….YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY ANSWERS. GOOD LUCK.

1. How long do you spend in the shower? i usually take baths. if i shower, it’s at least 20 minutes, unless i slept in. then i just put on lots of pit stick, say a prayer, yell at the kids to hurry up, jump in the car and light up a cigarette. and drive.

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform? jock strap. did you know that a cup and a jock strap are NOT the same thing? yeah, i didn’t either. thanks to paul for pointing this out to me.

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield? boogers. actually, i don’t like to find boogers anywhere.

4. Name something a man might buy before a date? well he might buy condoms, but if it’s the first date, he’s either a dreamer or she’s a slutty ho.

5. What’s another word for blemish? huge mole on my face.

6. Something you’d cook in the microwave? popcorn - i honestly HATE microwaved food. i only use it to melt butter and defrost meat.

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving? sofa. i’m moving, hint, hint, HINT!!!!

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman? they have money?

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner? dogs lick themselves you know where, any time, any place.

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for? blood test.

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for? jake got one for pulling a bunch of weeds on the highway.

12. Name a phrase with the word ‘Home’ in it? “the bases have changed, but a home run is STILL a home run.”

13. Name a sport where players loose teeth? hockey

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student’s day? cancel recess

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying? red eyes, blotchy face

16. Name something found at a Séance? candles?

17. Name a bird you wouldn’t want to eat? goose

18. Name something that gets folded? cards

19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it? well, if you’re my son, then both socks and underwear fit into this category. sorry, jake, but it’s true.

20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it? ??? my gas tank level ???

i’m not tagging anyone. if you need a post, steal this. i hate posting just to post. i’m glad holidailies is almost over.