Aug 26 2008
The only think I know how to say in German is “beer.” I think I need to know more than that before I go there.
There has been a slight change in my trip to Europe. Instead of going to Belgium… we are going to Germany.
I don’t speak German.
Al doesn’t speak German.
A girl named Rachel who we are meeting in Amsterdam… doesn’t speak German.
We have a theme going on here.
I’ve been told by a few travelers that everyone in Europe speaks English. This is a lie. Do not believe them. For example… my family in France doesn’t speak English. A few of them think they can. My mom even told me that my family spoke English. Right before I went to spend and entire summer with them. Whatever they thought they were speaking, it wasn’t English. Luckily by the time I left France I spoke French, or at least I thought I did.
The other night I assigned Al to “learn” German. I figure I don’t want to be the only person contributing to the speaking a different language on our trip. She is totally up to the challenge. She has one and a half weeks.
/blinks
Yes, we leave in one and a half weeks. Think… in one and half weeks I will be in Amsterdam doing NOTHING ILLEGAL. P A R T Y !
Now I want to help Al out. I decided to come up with a list of phrases we need to learn before we head into German territory.
HERE IS THE LIST SO FAR:
I surrender! (Said with french accent for emphasis.)
Where is the bathroom?
Wait… I do not have a penis. Where is MY bathroom?
Yes my friend is a whore. That would cost 5 euros.
I need a lot more beer.
Adolph Hitler can kiss my (insert bad word here).
Lederhose are NOT hot.
Is my bra strap showing?
I am not a beer wench.
I REALLY am not a beer wench.
Fine, give me your money. I’ll pretend to be a beer wench and buy myself a beer as well you drunk $#%^!
So does anyone else have anything they would add to this list? The more the better!
Stumble it!
Nein.
how about:
English muthaf*cka! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
parlez vous francais? (incidentally, the french and their obscure use of the letters z, v, u and q is really pompos)
does that camera have film in it?
bail is how much? shit.
i want to call my attorney.
i’m not american — i just look like i am.
yes, we are lesbians. thanks for asking…
sorry. i know we look like tourists.
where was hostel filmed? can we visit the set?
are we anywhere near transylvania?
i want to kill my friend. where is a good place to hide a body?
is it offensive to heil hitler on a street corner? it is? damn cuz we really wanted a picture of that.
also: i find it interesting that the itinerary change from belgium to germany is such a big deal, because as far as i know, neither of you speak belgian, either. just a thought.
dammit spelled pompous wrong. it’s a typo. stupid phone posting…
Guten Morgen
Jess: They speak FRENCH in Belgium. I cracked up on the transylvania comment. THAT was freaking funny. So were the rest of your comments. That one just made my day.
The Dave’s mom is FULL BLOODED German, so you would THINK he might be able to help you out, but unfortunately he never learned it, so again…useless here. I find it funny that Jess is a spelling NAZI yet can’t capitalize a sentence to save her life. Must be a phone posting thing too. Gotta have something to pass the time on the commute to and from Bum Fudge Egypt.
enjoy the trip.
tell nancie i have never capitalized ANYTHING in the blog world. it’s my style - it’s how i roll.
i DO use title case in my professional life, but that’s it!
Heres to helping Al out.
I surrender! (Said with french accent for emphasis.)
Ich übergebe! (Besagt mit französischem Akzent für Hauptgewicht.)
Where is the bathroom
Wo ist das Badezimmer?
Wait… I do not have a penis. Where is MY bathroom?
Wartezeit… Ich habe nicht eine Penis. Wo ist MEIN Badezimmer?
Yes my friend is a whore. That would cost 5 euros.
Ja ist mein Freund eine Dirne. Das würde 5 Euro kosten.
I need a lot more beer.
Ich benötige viel mehr Bier.
Adolph Hitler can kiss my (insert bad word here).
Adolph Hitler kann mein küssen (schlechtes Wort des Einsatzes hier).
Lederhose are NOT hot.
Lederhose sind NICHT heiß.
Is my bra strap showing?
Stellt mein Büstenhalterbügel dar?
I am not a beer wench.
Ich bin nicht ein Biermädchen.
I REALLY am not a beer wench.
ICH bin WIRKLICH nicht ein Biermädchen.
Fine, give me your money. I’ll pretend to be a beer wench and buy myself a beer as well you drunk $#%^!
Fein geben Sie mir Ihr Geld. Ich vortäusche ch, ein Biermädchen zu sein und außerdem zu kaufen ein Bier Sie getrunkenes $#%^!
In case you were wondering, I use this site quite a bit.
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt
i have no idea what the correct pronouncation of Büstenhalterbügel is, but just from the looks of it, it’s my new favorite word!
are you still going to scotland???? remember you owe me a photo….
Bob… OMG you are funny! did you type that yourself? Or did you use a translator?
Bridgy I’m excited your going to Deutschland. Some of the things I learn while there…
You can buy flowers for cheap
they give out big samples at the grocery store (incase you run out of eruo and need to eat)
they drive really fast around tight corners
well they just drive really fast everywhere
the coffee is strong
tschu tschu means good bye
Frickadella is horse meat
if you dye your hair purple or a weird maroon color you’ll be in like flin
Translator Baby!
But don’t let that deter you from bringing me back some German beer for my effort. :0
I’m really terrible at learning a foreign language. A good friend in high school was from Bangladesh. She taught me quite a bit of the language. All I can remember is:
My name is Amy. What is your name? Where is the bathroom? Potato.
I shit you not.
I think everyone should know a few vital phrases in foreign languages. You know, just to impress hot men. I would think a trip to Italy would be better than Germany. Aren’t the men hotter in Italy?
Always pronounce German like a really, really angry English. Everything in German sounds angry. It’s a very fun language to pronounce!