Aug 29 2007
Off to see The Wizard
or something like that. If you can call CV The Wizard. Maybe you can because it’s the type of place that’ll take off in a balloon and leave you stranded, feeling down and in need of a drink (or 6, no wait 10, it’s 3.2 beer…).
My baby brother is getting hitched this weekend and so I’m off to The CV for my annual visit to the fam and Jess and Bridge. I don’t have any other friends there and so get to spend all of my allotted friend time with J and B eating on the deck of The Owl (RIGHT?) and drinking loads of Miller Lite. There will probably be pictures and those two coercing me into putting on make up and such. I’m already steeling myself for it because I know it’s coming. /sigh
It’s always fun, though, so that’s all that matters. I say!
Because it’s my baby brother getting married, I wonder how many times family members will ask about me. The usual “You’re done with school and have a a steady job now. What’s the word in the boy section?”
“You’re next!”
“When will we be doing this for you?”
You get the picture. My standard answer is “never” but they just continue to ask or walk away and ask my mom or sister or brother. All of whom will likely roll their eyes and give some vague answer about how they’re waiting but don’t know when I’ll settle down and ‘find a husband.’
Like it’s a 300 million year old fish fossil, or something.
Anywho- looking forward to my visit, but NOT the drive. Who decided that I should drive anyway? Speak up!
Stumble it!
tell them it turns out the boy section doesn’t have any nuts and that you’re a lesbian. that ought to shut them up.
OR tell them you WERE dating someone seriously, but he died 3 weeks ago. collapse into tears, or this story won’t work. show them your engagement ring - you know, the one that you wear on a chain around your neck, because you can’t bear to wear it on your hand…you want it close to your heart. more tears!!!
or…try this. tell them you hope it’s damn soon b/c if you don’t meet someone soon, you are worried your hoo-ha might rust shut from never being used. ROFL.
and…a warning…the owl doesn’t serve miller lite on tap on the deck. sometimes they have baja, which is real tasty, but usually in very short supply.
Make up? Us? Um… Never… /cackles
I am planning a photoshoot… if I can get you to sleep over in my spare room. I have this great idea for our blog… and it helps that there will be beer involved.
About the husband thing… feel free to just point at me and say that I am your husband. I’ll totally back your story. Wait… i’ll be working.
Hmmmm… i’ll try to think of something.
Just say you’re into orgies and painting your naked body with pentagrams drawn in goat blood.
It should take their minds off the husband thing quick enough.
Lord - I was literally the last person in my extended family to marry. I can’t tell you the pressure that was involved with that whole thing. ESPECIALLY since I had a child for three years before getting engaged. Every holiday came with a question. Also, I have one cousin who was the last to *not* have a child in a family filled with children galore. She’s my age - well, a year younger (36). She is pregnant right now.. and out of her mind with glee..
Families should just let everyone live their own lives!! Of course that is never going to happen.. so they should just focus on choosing who drives. Which would be you.