Feb 05 2010
Al goes shopping…
…i decided awhile ago to try this internet dating thing. and i feel like it’s totally lame but also kind of good.
it’s lame because, well, really, if i want to meet dudes then i should get up off the couch or chair or whatever and get the hell out into this town. but i won’t. i’m not good like that.
hey, stop judging! at least i’m honest!
it’s good because 1) i’m NEVER around, 2) it gives me the opportunity to sit behind this computer screen and type up all sorts of bizarre and interesting and witty things without actually having to worry that the person doesn’t find me hilarious. (who am i kidding, EVERYONE finds me hilarious!), and 3) i don’t actually have to meet these guys but i’m still putting myself out there a little bit.
and bridge, in all of her infinite wisdom and general curiously, convinced me to join up on one of the dot com dating sites because she wanted to see how it worked. i also think she secretly wants me to get married… (bridgy, i see that you’re turning an interesting shade of blue. maybe you should stop holding your breath for this one, baby!)
so i went ahead and joined one. and it makes me laugh whenever i log on. they send you profiles daily about people they have mathematically, or magically, determined that you should fall madly in love with the SECOND you see their photo. but some of the things they use to tell you how much you and the other person are similar are SOO inane.
for example, i have seen some that say
- you share the same birth month big effing deal. just because I was born in march and am totally awesome doesn’t mean that everyone else who was born in march is the same (except bridgy. she’s TOTALLY TUBULAR and is only 1 year and 4 days older than me)
- you both like dogs the way i see it, you’re a dog person, or a cat person, or an overall animal person. i don’t really think about it either way. unless you hate animals. and then i assume you’re a psycho hose-beast
- you both think smoking is dumb really, ok. but i know a shit ton of people who think that smoking is dumb. that doesn’t make me any more or less attracted to them
- you both think the sky is blue
ok, the last two i made up but when you see things like the first two that are supposed to tell you something about how much you should be interested in someone, it makes you want to laugh out loud and then vomit.
i usually laugh out loud and then promptly ignore the person about whom this website is talking.
and then there’s me just messing with people. or, being totally realistic.
like, when i told that one guy who wanted to buy me beers that i wasn’t willing to meet anyone who has kids (please pick yourself up from off of the floor. i DID say no to free beers. why are you acting like that’s some sort of personal record for me?)
and then that other time when i told a guy who said he was looking for “the ONE” that i wasn’t interested in anything serious and he replied something about casual sex and i asked what his point was. like a girl can’t go out and openly look for some NSA encounter or something. guys do that shit all the freaking time.
anyhoodles- i’m NOT looking for “the ONE” or even “the RIGHT NOW.” in fact, i’m just using this to get out there and meet some new people (and maybe a little NSA now and again. is that so wrong?) and maybe make a new friend or 7.
and you know what i think REALLY helps?
that my profile picture is this one…
Stumble it!
ROCK ON, AL!
OMFG!!!
That really is your profile picture? I love it.
Now I am NOT trying to get your married. Just laid. =)
You look GORGEOUS in reflective orange. I’d even let you wear it at night……(wink-wink)