See Hear Speak No Evil

dear september,

you’ve been a great month. i turned 32. we bought a house. you have more birthdays in you than any other single month that i know. i don’t know what’s up with that. you’ve given us good weather for EVERY single fall soccer game. and that’s unheard of. september, you rock. until 2009!

love,
~jess

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dear nablopomo,

please remind me to never, EVER do this again. i almost died. i don’t know if posting every day was worth it. most of the time, it was a giant pain in the ass. i’m so glad this shit is over.

fuck off and die,
~jess

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dear realtor/mortgage dude/mortgage dude’s processor,

y’all rock. thanks for being so awesome to work with. you made our dreams of home ownership possible. i owe you a beer or three…or at least a mormon coffee. (mountain dew!)

sincerely,
~jess

p.s. i’ll send clients your way, i promise. just give me time.

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dear paul,

we cannot move by ourselves. please quit acting like we don’t need or want help. that’s bullshit. i TOTALLY NEED AND WANT HELP. for the love of god, LET PEOPLE HELP US. we rule! together we are unstoppable. not only can i NOT believe we are married (i’m so lucky) but i can’t believe we just bought a house. i bought a house with my best friend and lover. it’s the coolest thing in the whole damn world. and we get to share it with our kids and our dogs and those asshat cats.

love always,
~jess

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dear 4th quarter of 2008,

i have a major quota to meet. and if you aren’t good to me, i’m not gonna make it. i’ll be good, i promise, just PLEASE PLEASE let me close some goddamn business. maybe i’ll need to quit swearing. i promise i will if you just let me hit my quota. maybe. ok, fuck that. bad idea. who am i kidding?

suck it hard,
~jess

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dear stormy,

you are doing so good at this housebreaking thing. can you keep it up when we move?? i’m gonna be really pissed if you pee in our new house. as in REALLY PISSED.

thanks for being a teddy bear,
~jess

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dear jake,

surprise! your room does NOT clean itself. MOVE YOUR BONES and get that room clean. i’m really proud of you and the little man you are growing into. you’re smarter than ever and i can’t believe you are going to be ten soon. i don’t know if that seems like a milestone to you, but a decade is a really big deal….that’s FIVE on BOTH hands. that’s a damn long time, buddy. keep doing the right stuff and good things will happen to you.

love you so much,
~mom

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dear jenna,

you have turned into a sassy little princess. you have only one big front tooth and practically no other teeth on the top. i want to laugh every time you talk or smile. you seriously got ripped off on corn on the cob this summer. you drive me nuts b/c you talk back - but there is so much brain power in your talking back that you are hard to resist. i can just see the wheels turning. learn to use that wit smartly and you’ll be scary when you grow up.

stay on your toes. mom loves you.

hugs and kisses,
~mom

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dear reader,

i’m so glad you come visit me every day. i know you don’t always comment. but i hope i make you laugh or smile. i haven’t used many cuss words this month, so hopefully you’ll look past my eff bombs today. if you are ever in town, come over for a diet dew and a plate full of something homemade. but wait till we move, ok? i write mostly for me, but really i want you to keep coming back because you find me so charming.

peace out,
~jess

p.s. don’t hold your breath for my next post.

Alright, so this isn’t a EUROPE post (I’m still tryin’ to get the photos together) but my good friend Kandee sent this to me and I thought I’d share w/ you.

Grab your iPod/MP3 player/Computer/iTunes/whatever the Hell you have and hit SHUFFLE!!! Put the titles of songs as your answer in order, no skipping!

Waking Up:
A to the K - Cypress Hill

Good Day:
Bullet in the Head - Rage Against the Machine

Bad Day:
There Must Be a Better World - BB King

Long day:
Brain Damage - Pink Floyd

Lullaby aka music to fall asleep to:
Turn On Me - The Shins

After a fight with your best friend:
Blasphemous Rumors - Depeche Mode

After a fight with your parents:
Dead Souls - NIN

After a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend:
Angels of the Silence - Counting Crows

Falling in love:
Cinnamon Girl - Neil Young & Crazy Horse

Breaking up:
Think About It - Flight of the Concords (hehehe)

Making out:
Faaip de Oiad - Tool

Making up:
Enjoy the Silence (Ewan Pearson- extended version) - Depeche Mode

Sneaking out:
Pueblo Nuevo - Buena Vista Social Club (wtf does this mean?)

Being reckless:
One Tree Hill - U2

Road trip:
Track 11 (no name, no artist)

Graduation day:
Lost in Love - Air Supply (embarrassing- I know)

Senior week:
Burn - NIN

Remembering:
Rooster - Alice in Chains (that’s for remembering Layne and how H-A-W-T Jerry is)

Childhood memories:
Someday You’ll Understand - CCR (reminds me of Jess’s dad)

Vacation:
Live at E’s - Sublime

Seeing an old love:
One by One - Enya (stfu, seriously)

Angry mood:
Mr. Knowitall - Primus

Depressed mood:
Big River - Grateful Dead

Happy mood:
Gold Digger - Kanye West

Quiet mood:
Lukin - Pearl Jam

Loving mood:
Policy of Truth - Depeche Mode (see a trend here? maybe I should take some of these off)

Song for growing up:
Trust Me - Janis Joplin

Summer love:
Wasted on the Way - CSN&Y

Just SUMMER:
Not My Friend - Nora Jones

Winter romance:
The Rain Song - Led Zepplin

Loosing your best friend:
Same Girl - Jack Johnson

Loosing your love:
Gatman and Robbin’ - 50 Cent (um. does this mean I’m a cold, heartless bitch?)

Loosing a family member:
Family Business - Kanye West

YOUR funeral song:
Sibeling (non-Album track) - Depeche Mode

Your song you’re remembered by:
Never Enough (Big Mix) - The Cure (you’re never enough…)

Your family’s song for you:
My Wild Love - The Doors (that’s a little weird)

Song when you have kids:
Believe - Lenny Kravitz (i’d have to believe cuz I’m sure I’d be pretty effing pissed if I was giving birth)

The song that reminds you of your kids:
Roseta Stoned - Tool (perfect since I don’t have any kids)

Your wedding:
Grateful Dead - Model Citizen (I’d TOTALLY play that for all of us to skank to if I ever tied the knot)

Your KIDS graduation:
Something in the Way - Nirvana (again… no kids)

Your PARENTS funeral:
Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam

The song that ties your life together:
Down By The River - Neil Young (down by the river… i shot my baby)

Your best friend’s song for you:
Rainbow Connection - Kenny Loggins (is this because I’m a dirtloving treehugger?)

The song that reminds you of your childhood town:
Down on the Corner - CCR (again, b/c of Jess’s pa)

Your first love:
Freedom Exists - The Doors

Your school days:
Got Me Wrong - AIC

Your favorite summer song:
Someone - Air Supply (um, I’d have to go w/ no but ok)

The song that reminds you of the one thing you wish you could get back:
Swamp Song - Tool

Your drinking song:
Eyes of the World - Grateful Dead

Your party song:
Me & Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin (hell yeah, and hell yeah again)

head over to the over-thinker’s blog so you can vote for your favorite photoshop phunnery. she likes to draw on real pictures with fake yarn.

honestly, while i’d like you to vote for me and paul, the pic of friyet is probaby the best. so vote for whichever pic you like best (vote for me, vote for me…)

thanks, and happy monday.

and yes, OT, i’m SOOO glad this is almost over. I THINK I HAVE USED SEVEN OF MY NINE LIVES.

Al and I are still getting back in to real life and have not had time to post. We will soon. I really can’t wait to tell you the funny things we did while there.

Soon…

friends, romans, countrymen (and countrywomen), lend me your ears. after today, i have only TWO MORE posts to write to make it through the entire month of september and posting every.single.day.

i’m not going to lie - these last few weeks have been really hard. i know i had to resort to uber lameness like posting youtube videos, etc. and posts that were like 4 sentences long. you got to read about me turning older. about my kids. about how much diet dew i drink. about fantasy football. etc., etc., etc.

today my friends, my quest is almost over. i may not post again in 2008 after september 30. you never know. LOL!

we don’t watch the family guy at my house (for the same reason we don’t watch the simpsons, king of the hill and south park…) but this video cracks me up:

and because i can’t resist cheesy 80s song videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZkllM8znx4

two more posts. and then i’ll shut the hell up for awhile.

i played in a charity gold tournament today to benefit the susan g. komen race for the cure. all benefits proceed breast cancer research…i played with good friends dave and nancie and a co-worker, carolyn. we had a blast. thank god paul played with us, too, or our score would have been MUCH worse. he’s a good golfer; i suck.

anyway, our team name was save second base…if you don’t get that, think on it for a minute. another good team name was “hakuna maTaTas” ha ha ha…

when we left, i had the longest putt and paul had the longest drive. i should mention that we *were* the first team out, so i’m sure that we won’t win - although paul MIGHT win the longest drive.

we had a great day - the weather was perfect and we had great company. and it was ALL FOR THE TWINS!!

it’s another time warp for y’all… and i promise to only use youtube, like, tops, maybe one more time before the month is over. I PROMISE.

when i was a kid, they used to play the weekly top 40, hosted by casey kasem on saturday mornings. i got my first boom box when i was a kid…and it played CASSETTE tapes. how cool is that? anyway, we used to record our favorite songs off the radio…and this was one of my favorites. i liked to dance to it and sing along. with my bad hair and big glasses. and sweatshirt with teddy bears on it.

i really hate users who won’t let you embed videos, so you get the direct link instead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2tXfZFlZAk&feature=related

this second song … took me years to find. but thanks to teh internetz, i was finally able to pin it down. i love it..

it’s the weekend time warp. enjoy.