See Hear Speak No Evil

this was released while i was out on one of my july roadtrips, so you might have seen it, but i’m sharing it anyway. it’s worth a laugh. no comments from me until you’ve seen the video!

enjoy!

gotta love The Onion…

Al Gore and Kal-Al Gore. You can’t beat that with a stick.

Enjoy!

that’s my dear dog stormy. give me a break on photo quality - i took the photo with my moto q, which has a whopping 1 megapixel camera. and photography isn’t my thing. obviously.

she loves to sleep on the top of the couch…all stretched out. see how her back legs are flat behind her? that is how all shih tzus lay out. she often sinks right down, practically in mid stride, with her front paws straight out and her back paws straight back. she sleeps alot, lucky bitch.

the potty thing is getting better. i’ve been walking her a lot more, and she loves it! plus she LOVES to poop in the neighbor’s yard. normally, i would pick the poop up, but this particular neighbor is kind of from hell, so pretend not to notice that stormy is crapping on her lawn. instead, i look at the scenery and stuff.

dogs have the LIFE. our dogs sleep on our bed: all night with me…and then all day with paul. they eat well. we often feed them scraps of steak, chicken and vegetables. (and not the scraps you wouldn’t eat. lean cuts of meat.) they LOVE carrots. they get petted every single day. they don’t have jobs. they don’t have stress. if they raise puppies, they are moms for a big, long 8 weeks. twelve weeks for the shih tzu. all they have to do is put up with 4-10 hungry little wiggly puppies nursing on them whenever they feel like it.

i’d nurse for 8 weeks straight if i didn’t have to pay for a college education. is anyone else with me on this?

sidebar: jake has a soccer tournament this weekend! it’s only supposed to be 95 degrees outside, so i’m really excited about that. wish him well!

Bridge’s STATS

Starting Weight: 164
Current Weight: 153.8

Weight Lost to Date: 10.4 (+3)
Inches Lost to Date: 10.5 (+2.75)

This week I have done really well. Not because I’ve been dieting really well, but because my body decided to dump the weight or something. Maybe it is the stress. Anyways, I am pleased.

bridge upgraded wordpress and some things are broken. we know that. do not contact customer service. do not ask for a refund. just hang in there until we get it fixed.

in the meantime, please enjoy al’s fridge poetry and scroll down even farther to see a post about one of my most favorite tv shows.

happy monday.

Another edition of Al’s infamous fridge poetry is here!!!
The large orange magnets are courtesy of the ASPCA. I’m 400% positive that they would not condone my use of these magnets for the purpose of which I have used them (mainly sexual in nature).

source: google images and probably nbc.

i canNOT wait for HEROES to come back on SEPT. 22. it’s NO coincidence - that is ALSO my birthday, so start shopping TODAY.

i like booze, victoria’s secret, books and shoes. and i like to rhyme. shop with class, wise soldiers!! DO NOT FORGET. and don’t worry - i won’t let you forget that planet earth is staring down the barrel of THIRTY TWO entire YEARS of jess!!!

so. reader. who is your favorite heroes character? what plot line are you dying to see progress and/or culminate?