See Hear Speak No Evil

Do you all remember the blog giveaway I won on The Over-Thinker’s site? I won a book called The Gallery of Regrettable Food. Yes the food is regrettable. Yes the commentary is FUNNY. I just started reading it, so I will have to let you know my favorite parts on another blog post.

By the cover you can tell you’re in trouble. The fake smile… the jello salad on lettuce… yeah.

Nothing screams delicious like a jello salad with cucumbers and eggs! I want seconds please!

Hotdogs as a garnish? What a great idea! You know they ARE almost meat. I think I’ll make this eat-me-now dish at my next BBQ. Hopefully I’ll still have friends afterwards.

Now let me tell you how COOl the Over-Thinker is. She is not only cool, but thoughtful. Look at this cool postcard she sent us. I don’t think we have ever looked better. Notice my nice stand that is holding the photo. Yum beer… It goes well with jello salad, eggs and cucumbers.

She also sent a personal card. One that is adorable. One that shouts to me that I am inadequate because no card would ever look that cute if I made it. I love it. It’s so bright and cheerful. Plus a HANDWRITTEN personal note. It even uses the word FORCE just for me. HEHE. I erased her name in case you were wondering.

So thank you Over-Thinker! I’ll be reading this book over the next few weeks and I know I will be laughing. I will make sure to pass it on to Jess and Al so they can share in the fun.

The other day I got to go to Pickleville Playhouse to see the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie. My friend Loralle has the part of Muzzy and did just amazing. Every time I hear her sing I cry. This time was NO exception.

For anyone in the Northern Utah area… you should go see this musical. The entire cast did a great job and I was even more pleased with it than I thought I would be.

over the past 12-18 months, i’ve really fallen in love with the mojito. it’s just that delicious. i’ve experimented with the recipe and i’ve finally settled on one that’s fabulous enough to share - and it deserves its own post. so…this recipe makes mojitos for a crowd. if you want to make a single mojito, a glass at a time, the best recipe is on the bacardi website (must be 21 to enter - LOL), but this is seriously the best way to make them…

jessie’s mojitos for a crowd

1 12-oz can frozen limeade
2 cups sugar
4 cups water

mix this together until the sugar dissolves, pour into a 1-gallon freezer bag. freeze overnight. (you don’t have to freeze this in advance if you don’t have time, but you won’t need to add ice to serve if you do it this way…)

you’ll also need:

1-2 bunches of fresh mint (don’t skip this ingredient - it’s a critical part of the mojito)
6 limes (or more if you want more)
1 fifth of bacardi white rum
1 2-liter bottle of diet sprite
1 1-liter bottle of club soda

remove the mint from the stems, discard any discolored leaves and put in the bottom of a large punchbowl. slice three limes into slices or small wedges and toss them in top of the mint. juice the other three limes into the bowl. using a large spoon or a potato masher, crush the mint, juice and limes together to release the flavor of the mint. when you are ready to serve, take the frozen limeade mix from the freezer and add it to the bowl, crushing it into a slush with the spoon or potato masher. add the rum, the sprite and the club soda and stir well. make sure you have a designated driver and ENJOY!!

you can add strawberries or raspberries for a twist if you’d like. and if you want to make it non-alcoholic (who would want to do that?), use 1-2 liters of ginger ale in place of the rum.

Kim (i’m not linking…not sure if she’s cool with that or not…) thought I wouldn’t do this…so HA HA HA…here I am…DOING IT. I hate this kind of crap. And I fixed all the “your”s that should have been “you’re.” and ignore the capital letters. stupid MS word does that automatically.

Where is your cell phone? Next to my laptop

Your significant other? He’s at home sleeping – he works at night

Hair color? Blonde, but it might change this week

Your mother? Who knows?

Your father? Probably in his wood shop

Your favorite thing? I have lots of them. If I’m being selfish, it’s reading in the tub. If it’s a family thing, it’s watching my kids play soccer. If I’m with paul, it doesn’t matter what we are doing – it’s my favorite.

Your dream last night? I didn’t dream last night

Your favorite drink? Everyone knows this. If you don’t, leave a comment. hint: it’s not beer.

Your dream/goal? independence

Room you’re in? my cubicle at work

Your hobby? What is a hobby? Who has time for that?

Your fear? I’m scared I will die before I’m done teaching my kids everything they need to know to be successful. Maybe I’ve already accomplished this?

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Wherever I am is where I want to be.

Where were you last night? Paul and I had dinner with bridge and max

What you’re not? beautiful

Muffins? Almond poppyseed

Where you grew up? Newton, Utah

The last thing you did? Wrote a contract

What are you wearing? Um, this is a stupid question. Capri pants and a polo shirt.

Your tv? We have a cool big screen!

Your pets? insane

Your computer? Kicks ass

Your life? Freaking awesome!

Your mood? Anxious. (not sure why…)

Missing someone? No, not really. I see everyone I need to see on a daily basis.

Your car? Oh I should post a pic of it. A NEW BABY!

Something you’re not wearing? socks

Favorite store? Just one? Lame. Depends on what I am shopping for.

Your summer? Packed with road trips for work

Like someone? As in do I have a crush? David Beckham maybe?

Favorite color? black

When was the last time you laughed? About an hour ago

When was the last time you cried? Last night watching some stupid show on tv

Who will do this? Hmm…maybe Kathryn?

i ain’t tagging anyone. if someone wants to do this and needs a post, go ahead. if not, fine. i’ll still like you anyway. maybe.

Q&A

**jess edit** the questions below came from the over thinker…she’s on vacation this week, but you should go over and check out her blog. she’s pretty and witty and gay. as in 1950s gay.

I am terribly honored to be here today interviewing the three lovely wimmins of See No, Hear No, Speak No Evil. I hope you’re ready for some in-depth probing of sorts. Bridge, you can keep your pants on. Um, but thank you. No–Jess, Al…ladies, please put your pants back on. Something tells me these wimmins have past probative experiences.

1. Of the three of you, who has sported the WORST haircut/hairstyle? Please post a photo.

Al: We all lived through the 80s so my guess is we all shared the same shitty hair cut (re-post photo of all of us in 6th/7th grade)

Bridge: I’ll be honest. I think it was me. From about the age of 6 to 14 I had the worst hair ever. I even had bangs from ear to ear and a perm.

Jess: well, i’m definitely in the running for first place, but bridge had this hairdo that was a highly permed mullet in the 5th or 6th grade. it was truly awful.

2. What would happen if, all of a sudden, the world ran out of beer? Which one of you would die first and why?

Al: WHAT!? Out of beer!? What kind of Commie crap is this? Are you some sort of sadist? I’m IN TEARS RIGHT NOW. I can’t believe you’d even suggest such a thing. Hang on. I have to run to the store to stock up…. This running out of beer thing will NOT affect me. I shake my fist at you world. HAHA! Foiled your little plan, eh.
(Honestly, probably me. Bridge can do without because of the diet. She’d still have vodka. Jess would have her Diet Dew. And I, well, I would have nothing. Water. That’s it.)

Bridge: Wow… If the world ran out of beer it would be the end of the world in my opinion. Might as well give me a pitchfork, a tail, and some cold coffee. I’ll see you all in hell.

Jess: al would die first. why? because i don’t need it as much as she does. i’d rank my need for diet dew, coffee and cigarettes well above my need for beer.

3. Al, how long does it take you to put on your toe-socks? Do you ever wear them with shorts? Again, please post photo.

Al: As long as it takes to put on regular socks. I’ve been wearing them for awhile but NEVER with shorts! I know of all of us, I have the worst sense of style, but I would NEVER wear toe socks with shorts. A skirt maybe, but you wouldn’t be able to see the toes because they’d be covered in nice-ish shoes.

Bridge: I can’t believe Al has never worn toe socks with shorts. The fact that she admitted to wearing them with a skirt in the first place? LOL.

4. Bridge, please. Put your pants back on. Now. Thank you.

Bridge: No comment

5. Jess, have you ever smoked and played soccer at the same time? If not, please go outside right now and try it and let us know how it goes.

Jess: no, i haven’t. i tried it last night and i burned myself before i ran out of breath. i even scored a goal! so i smoked a cigarette in celebration.

6. Bridge, if Luke was your brother, would you still kiss him in Episode 4? Also, would you wear pastry-hair? Also, would you have a terrible British accent for the 1st half of the movie?

Bridge: Hmm… kiss Luke? I will admit growing up I had a super crush on Luke. I probably would have kissed him. More likely even had a full on make out session with him. To this day I can still remember the moment I realized that they were brother and sister and had kissed. Must have been like the 3rd time I had seen Jedi. It was a weird moment.

7. For all 3: Part I: What’s the longest you’ve gone without showering? Part II: What’s the longest you’ve gone without sex?

Al: Oh, oh! I got this one. I finally won one! I: at least a week. II: you are talking about AFTER initial virginity loss, right? Yes. Ok, then. 3 years. It was NOT fun.

Bridge: I am so thankful I did NOT win this one. The longest I haven’t showered is 3 days. This is HUGE since I shower every single day. I never skip. My hairdresser gets mad at me every time I get my hair done too. Now about sex… 6 months.

Jess: longest i’ve gone without showering…crap. it was probably during the longest i’ve gone without sex, because it just didn’t matter if my legs were shaved and if i smelled good. or looked good. i would guess the longest is 3 days and the longest without sex…well…i have NO idea on that. probably 12 months? i really have no idea.

8. Jess, would you sell your first-born for weekly deliveries of Canadian candy?

Jess: if it included some wink soda, yes, i might consider it. SMACK MY MACK!!

9. Bridge & Al: What’s the most embarrassing thing (not yet to be revealed) that Jess did at her Bachelorette party? Post video or picture if possible.

Al: Nothing, really. It wasn’t that kind of bachelorette party. She wanted it to be calm and full of booze and penis straws. We provided. We’re good like that.

Bridge: I agree with Al. Nothing very embarrassing. If only you would have asked about another occasion. We could have told you sooooo much. /wink I better not go there though, Jess has way more dirt on me than I have on her.

Jess: i can answer this - it was wearing that damn veil all night long all over logan.

10. Jess, how much would you pay Al to take up the trumpet and totally nail a Star Wars song? And to also use her trumpet as a gun?

Al: I know this question is directed to Jess, but I just wanna know if I get to wear that ass-kickin outfit. Complete with shoulder pads, because, let’s be frank, all women’s shirts should include shoulder pads.

Bridge: I don’t know about Jess, but I know I would totally pay $1.05.

Jess: i’d feel really good about paying her in monthly installments of $1.99. for 19 years. and i think she hates guns, but i’m not 100 percent sure.

as household CEO, i have posted a job chart in our kitchen. it’s used as a message board at times, as a place to stick our library due date receipts, etc. often, the board is hijacked by jenna. she thinks she is just hilarious - and most of the time, i have to agree. the last time she hijacked the board, i wanted to take a picture of it, but i couldn’t find the camera. she had changed her chore list to read: eat fruit snacks, play the wii, sleep alot.

here’s her latest hijacking:

let me go over what she’s written, in case you can’t read the scrawl of a 7-year-old: (and i’m sorry about the flash bulb in the center of the pic…)

jacob:
every “single” thing in the whole house period. end of “discussion”

jenna:
go to heather’s (her day care lady)
eat chips
play the wii
and fart

moms:
nothing at all at all nothing nothing

paul:
play war craft

once she wrote on paul’s job list: kiss mom.

she’s can be a real pain in the ass, but she’s MY pain in the ass. i just love her to pieces.

Remember me saying I won a blog giveaway? I actually won TWO. I feel like such a winner. Anyways, I recieved this yesterday in the mail. It is from the first blog giveaway that I won. Thank you Blond Republicans!

You should all go and check out their blog. They are fellow members of the Cache Valley Illuminati and I love going to lunch with them.