See Hear Speak No Evil

i don’t know what to do, friends. my heart is NOT in blogging. i haven’t been reading blogs. i have nothing interesting to write about.

i’m at an impasse. please know it’s not personal (”it’s not you, it’s ME!!!”).

posting will be light (i know what you’re thinking… “jess!! it HAS been light!”).

but now you’ve been told. i’m sure i’ll get my mojo back, but it’s been awhile now and it’s still on hiatus. please continue to visit us and read bridge and al, and hopefully occasionally, me.

love,
~jess

it’s been great soccer weather here in utah for the last week or so… for the most part. last saturday was no different.

the day dawned bright and early my friends. the grass was nice and dry, the kids were hopped up on fresh air and ready to kick some grass.

the first half, our team came out charging…and by the end of the half, we were up 2-1. (but who keeps score for rec soccer? oh wait! i do!!)

the referee was pretty decent with the kids, but he was obviously used to reffing much older children. he didn’t let the kids get away with bad throw ins. for those of you who don’t play soccer, a throw in must be over the head, and at least one foot must remain on the ground. oh - and you cannot step on the field. if you commit any of those fouls, it’s a turnover and the other team gets to throw the ball into play.

**edit** for U8 kids, the refs typically coach the kids real quick on a proper throw in and let them do it again - no turnover…

on one particular throw in, one of my girls threw the ball in, but lifted her foot. the ref blew his whistle, but it wasn’t loud enough for jenna. almost everyone heard it but her. she had the ball…and she was out of the gates, with flames on her cleats. everyone was yelling at her to STOP, but i think she heard “SCORE” because she just kept going. in her defense, a couple of kids from the other team must not have heard the whistle either, because they were trying to get the ball away from her.

she took it all the way into the penalty box…and she shot the ball…and SCORED A GOAL (a goal that didn’t count, mind you) and then raised her hands triumphantly and was being all self-congratulatory.

i laughed my ass off. it was the funniest thing ever. one of dads from my team had stood up and was cheering for jenna, “yeah! jenna! you scored! awesome goal!” even though he knew it didn’t count. all the parents were cheering and laughing at the same time. i’m still not sure that jenna knows her goal didn’t really count towards the final score (and in the end, it doesn’t really matter…).

it was hilarious. i wish i had it on tape. her little cheer for herself at the end will be a classic memory in my mind for some years to come.

the final score? i’m not sure what it was exactly, but we lost. boooooo…

I read this lovely blog by Queenie over at Royally Healthy. Today she posted about a contest she is having on a group blog she also contributes to.

You could win a bike! Yes, a bike! Plus you might get some yummy Lipton products.

Our Wicked Weighs

Enter the contest here!

To get the free sample of Lipton and register to win the bike:

1. Go to the link I supplied up above.
2. Register to be a user on their site.
3. Email Erin for a free sample (first come first served). Make sure you give her your address and the sample that you want.
4. Review the product on your own blog, if you get a sample.
5. Post about the contest on your site, and make sure you send Erin the link either by commenting or by emailing her.

If you are not selected to get a sample:

1. Write about the contest on your own blog and link them directly to Our Wicked Weighs.
2. Tell your members to register with us as well as enter the contest.
3. Leave a comment with the actual link to the post showing them that you linked to the contest as well as to Our Wicked Weighs.
4. Remind them that they need to be registered.

Might I suggest you all go and register already? Lipton is also having a contest that you could win $25,000. Yes, that is REAL money. Go check it out!

(Danette, Bridge, Roxy [30 weeks pregnant], & Charie)

Saturday I participated in the 5K of the Salt Lake City Marathon. I am proud of myself. I had multiple occasions to bail out on participating, but I didn’t.

Reasons I had to bail:

• I hurt my knee pretty bad in February in a skiing accident that happened when I avoided crashing into a small child who cut me off, and I had to stop training.
• I hate running. Puke Puke Puke!
• Both my son and daughter had soccer games at 9:00 AM and my husband had to coach my daughter. Who was going to watch my son?
• I had to wake up at 4:00 FREAKING AM to get to SLC. I am NOT a morning person.
• Did I mention I hate running?
• I almost ran out of gas on the way there.
• A cop passed me in a 55 mph zone when I was going 80 on my way to SLC. Construction zone I might add.

Why I didn’t bail:

• I miss my college roomies.
• Because I am NOT a wimp even though my husband calls me one.
• Because I got my mom to watch my son at his game so he had someone to cheer him on. He made TWO goals!
• Because Nyquil and 3 beers lets you go to bed at 9 PM if you take them together. Even if you usually go to bed at midnight. (I do not recommend this! Whatever… I totally do. Um, maybe I don’t? HEHE.)
• I drive a Toyota Corolla (1994 Yeah!) and it will drive forever on fumes.
• The cop passed me, whew, and then I followed it! /wink
• I REALLY miss my college roomies.

So how did I actually do?

I ran 2 of the 3.1 miles. Next time I will run all 3.1.
I finished in less than the 45 minutes I had hoped for. I have no idea on my time… I just know it was less than 45 minutes.
I am REALLY sore right now. I have a hard time walking down stairs. This wouldn’t have been a problem if I would have trained for it more. My poor husband rubbed my legs on HIS birthday.

I have to say that I had so much fun running the 5k. I actually started crying the second we started running. I was so happy just to be a included again with these friends. I am actually crying AGAIN just writing this.

I’ll tell you why…

Well first of all… Jess and Al have been my friends forever, but I have never lived with them….

During my sophomore year in college I moved out and moved in with some roomies I worked with. Well the first roomies were NOT good roomies to live with. One got pregnant within a few months, and one was “dealing” out of our house. Let’s just say I didn’t live there long. My boyfriend (now husband) suggested I move in with these girls I had gone to high school with. I didn’t think they would want me to live with them considering I considered them very popular while I was not. I was totally surprised when they said yes. Not only did I get along with them, but they accepted me as I was.

I live in Utah. I drink alcohol and coffee. I am usually NOT accepted by a majority of the population.

Yet I was.

One of my roommates, Charie, even went on a LDS mission at the end of when I lived with her. This poor girl had to bang on my door when I was having sex with my boyfriend (now husband) so I would STFU. Yeah. We totally talked about this on Saturday too.

My poor roomies.

So anyways, I started crying at the beginning of the race, and tonight when I thought of how thankful I am that these girls were in my life. I am so excited that they have all started their own blogs and I can now enjoy reading about their families.

Charie: Thank you for always being nice to me and for accepting me as I am. From the first time I met you I always felt accepted.

Roxy: Thank you for showing me how one can take hard decisions and make your life better for it. I need to make decisions like you do.

Danette: Thank you for being shy. From you I learned a lot of how to make people feel welcome and safe. This sounds weird… but thank you.

Sarah: Even though you were missing from the 5k… I want to tell you that I appreciated you for teaching me that one can love entirely.

You can read about their takes on the 5k here, here and here!

for the most part, i abhor fast food. however, years of being single, a college student and a mommy have trained me to find things that i do like at all the fast food joints. the jalepeno poppers at arby’s. the frosty at wendy’s…and don’t forget the chili and taco salads at wendy’s, too. nothing is good at burger king - except for those cinni minis. i love the mozzarella sticks at sonic, but more than anything i LOVE the drinks at sonic. did you know you can buy a bag of that fabulous crushed ice from them to use at your next party for your drinks? that ice is simply mahvahlous in a punch bowl of mojitos.

little known fact about jess: i used to work at hardee’s in high school. i started out as the fried chicken cook and i had to yell “raw chicken!!” when i came out of the freezer carrying raw chicken because i couldn’t touch anyone else with my chicken-infested hands. one year i was scheduled as the fried chicken cook on memorial day of all days. good god do people eat the shit out of fried chicken on memorial day! i bet i made no fewer than 1,137 batches of fried chicken on this day - oh and did i mention my boss was THEE biggest dick ever? i didn’t? well my boss was THEE biggest dick EVER. he seriously was an asshole. there were about 17 steps to the perfect effing hardee’s secret recipe of fried chicken, plus i had to make the batter, too. there were only two fryers and you could only fry 24 pieces of chicken at a time - and it took 13 mins per batch. you do the math. hardee’s corporate was also running some fucking great deal for 8 pcs. of chicken plus 2 sides for $3.99. ok, so it wasn’t $3.99 but i assure you my friends, it was way too cheap. people kept coming through the drive thru window…and they kept ordering the goddamn chicken. i was freaking out. douchebag bossman kept yelling at me “jessica! more chicken!” and i kept saying under my breath “mike! (may or may NOT be his real name) fuck you! i’m cooking the chicken as fast as i can!!!”

believe it or not, this was not the worst job i’ve ever had. but it was close. the frisco chicken sandwich at hardee’s was amazing.

now back to my story. in spite of my fast food revolt, i am somewhat of a secret mcdonald’s lover. i heart the big mac. all 3,299 calories in it. secret sauce and all. i think they have the best french fries in the fast food world. the entire dollar menu is off the hook. “super size me” is a stupid movie b/c no one would ever eat at mcdonald’s every day for three meals a day. and if someone really DOES do that, they deserve to die.

i am in love with the iced coffee with sugar free vanilla at mcdonald’s. you know what i love more? the price. a large (and it’s huge…) is $2.19! you can’t beat it. i also LOVE the chipolte (total sidebar here: i misspelled chipotle the first time and spellcheck suggested that maybe i meant “spotless” or “potlatches” or “archipelago” or perhaps did i mean “poltergeist?” bwahahaha) bbq grilled chicken wrap. i’ve tried the wraps at wendy’s - they just ain’t as good. not even close! i’m also a huge fan of the asian salad with grilled chicken at mcdonald’s. paul newman’s sesame ginger dressing is tha bomb.

so next time your kids drag your ass to mcdonald’s for the latest cheap ass toy, have an iced coffee and the bbq chicken wrap. then make sure you pretend to be a mickey d’s hater - it works for me.

while you’re here, share your favorite high school job story or fave fast food item.

and - wtf is a potlatch? and i think i know what “spotless” is, although it’s been some time since i’ve seen anything that i own “spotless.” i’ve seen poltergeists in my sleep lately and i wish i was on an archipelago somewhere sipping a tiny fruity drink while paul rubs oil into the soles of feet….

*i did not receive any compensation for this post*

Oh Will Farrell… how do you come up with this?

Today is my husbands birthday.

Happy Birthday M! I love you!!!