Jan 08 2008
R.I.P. Kitty
***DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO CRY. I AM 100% SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. THIS POST WAS WRITTEN FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. I AM ONLY PUBLISHING IT SO THAT I CAN LOOK BACK AT IT LATER.***
Yesterday in a terrible accident our bird Kitty died. I am the one that killed her, and I can’t even begin to express how terrible I feel. I am so sorry Kitty.
I was working with my kids at our dinner table and left to get a marker. Kitty was sitting on the table being her cute self and trying to bite sucker sticks. I was gone for all of about 15 seconds. In that time she flew to the ground and under my chair. When I came back I didn’t see her and I stepped on her while trying to sit at our table.
I knew the instance I stepped on her that she would die. I knelt down and picked her up and just talked to her while I stroked her cute mohawk on her head. It didn’t take more than 20 seconds for her to die. All that time my kids screamed at me to call the vet. The hardest thing I ever done in my life is look into my sons eyes and tell him that his pet was going to die and there is nothing anyone could do about it.
After she was gone I called my husband to come home from work. For a second he must have thought that some person must have died. All he could hear was screaming and crying. When I finally told him that I had just killed our bird he hung up and came right home. We all loved Kitty.
My husband dug a hole in our flower bed and we burried her with her favorite two toys and some cute notes that my kids wrote to her. I hope she is happy wherever she is because we all miss her terribly.
In truth, I haven’t stopped crying for more than an hour since it happened. I have honestly never cried this hard or long in my entire life. Kitty had become a part of our family. If you have a pet you love dearly you will understand. The fact that I took her life is making it that much harder. I am so mad at myself for not looking. I ALWAYS looked when she was out to see where she was. I feel so guilty and terrible. I know it was an accident, but I also know it was my fault.
My son thinks it is his fault. He is mad at himself that he had Kitty out. I keep trying to explain that it WASN’T his fault. That Kitty loved to be out. She always would chirp until we got her out when she wanted to play. Kitty would have hated being cooped up in a cage all the time, and that she loved him.
She loved all of us. She loved my son for taking her up to his room and watching movies with her. She loved my husband because he always took her out and petted her and he fed her. I know she loved my husband the most. She loved me because I used to scratch her head for her. I always talked to her when I walked pass her cage too. Now my daughter… she liked to run away from her, but I know she loved her too. Now she LOVED Grandma Josie (my mom). My mom would just sit still and hold Kitty for hours on her shoulder whenever she came over. She would also fly away from any of us and go straight to her. Grandma Josie is going to miss Kitty too.
To remember Kitty I am writing her a letter so my kids can look back and remember her. Here our some of our favorite memories of Kitty:
Dear Kitty,
I remember they day we got you Kitty. You seemed the most calm on my shoulder. I walked around Pets Mart for an hour with you sitting right there. I had never wanted a bird before, but when I met you I just knew you were a part of our family.
I remember the day that you played Tumbling Monkeys with my kids. I woke up late that day to two kids yelling in my ear that you had just pulled out a stick and didn’t get any monkeys. You were so adorable.
I remember how every time I made popcorn you would chirp until I gave you a few pieces. You loved popcorn.
I remember how my son calmed down when we got you. How relaxed he seemed around you, and how gentle he was with you.
I remember your first Christmas. How excited my kids were when you got something in your stocking as well.
I remember how you loved sitting on my husbands shoulder when he made breakfast.
I remember how you chirped the loudest when my husband came home. Either at lunch or after work.
I remember how cute you were when you wanted to get out of the cage. You used to run back and forth on the bottom of the cage.
I remember how silly you looked when you were wet. You hated showers, but you needed them.
I remember how you used to bite Jess. Not hard, but you loved going after her earings.
I remember how you liked eating roll up pancakes.
I remember how you liked standing on one leg.
I remember how my son called you soft and snuggly.
I remember how you sat in blanket forts with my son. Even though you hated it.
I remember how you used to puff up whenever you seemed happy.
I remember how you would always preen yourself whenever you got on my shoulder. I looked like I had dandruff all the time.
Kitty, we loved you. We still love you. We all miss you. We hope you loved your time in our home. You were and always will be a part of our family. Love M, B, M & N
Now if you have made it this far I am sorry. I am mainly writing this post so I can remember her in years to come. Someday our family will get another bird. Not one to replace Kitty, but to help us remember why we loved her so. I also wrote it to help myself heal. I hope by releasing these emotions the healing will come quicker.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona the movie
Stumble it!
i wish that bird liked me as much as i liked her! she really liked paul a lot, too…
she was ALWAYS biting my earrings. or my necklace. and she always squawked at me if i tried to get close.
i’ll miss you, kitty.
hugs to you, bridge…
I AM so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Kitty was a great and revered member of your family that was showered with love and showed much love in return.
Time is the only healer, unfortunately, but it’s better your kids experience their first death (of someone very close to them, that is) in this way and at this age. It helps them learn to grieve and cope and understand that Mother Earth giveth and she sure as shit taketh away.
MWAH!!! I’m thinking of all of you, M, B, M & N. Kitty had the BEST HOME ever!
My condolences too Bridge. Sorry for your family’s loss. Had a dog once that was almost smart enough to read the newspaper. He was run over on Main Street here in Centerville on my watch.
BTW, The Apostle John in the New Testament, in the Book of Revelation, looked into heaven and saw animals (birds too) around the throne of God. Nice to know that animals are in heaven with God, just like favorite people we loved and grandparents who made us cookies, bought us ice cream and watched all our soccer and little league baseball games.
I’m really sorry for your loss. I will miss kitty too. Losing a pet is like losing a kid. My condolences. Nan
Very sorry to hear about Kitty. It’s always so difficult to lose a member of the family and that’s what pets are, members of the family.
oh my gosh, i’m so sad! It really sucks that kitty died, but dont blame yourself. It really isnt your fault.
R.I.P kitty!!!!!!
I am so sorry for your loss. Doesn’t matter how long you had her, it wasn’t enough. You’ve put together some beautiful memories.
I’ve already written a ton of condolences, but here’s one more:
SO sorry, Bridgy.
HUG
Sorry to hear this…I can so relate to you on this…losing a pet is like losing a family member. Hope the children don’t beat themselves up too much on this incident…
As someone who has lost a pet recently, I know how hard it can hit you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My heart is hurting for you and your family Bridge.
I’m sorry, Bridge.
Oh, God Bridge! I’m so sorry.. I’ve never had a bird, but I grew up with several pets that I loved just as much as family. I’ll never forget the day my Dad GAVE AWAY our pet dog (”Tiny Baby” was her name) because we were moving and she couldn’t come with us. He gave her to someone we didn’t even know. Had never met. She had been with us for more than five years and was like a sister… so much more than a pet. (I was so mad at him).
Accidents do happen, Bridge. As hard as it is, try to remember that. My Mom actually hit Tiny with her car one time. She was so upset about it, but I knew it was an accident and wasn’t mad. I’m sure your kids feel much the same, and time will heal you all.
*hugs*
Let me add to the condolences as well.I have had to endure the loss of many of a family pet,to me they are our kids and to lose on sucks.collectively in Celestine and my marriage we have had to say good bye to 2 Dogs and 4 cats.we still have our Harvey but he is getting old.
*Hugs*
I’m a first time visitor–I found the link at Loralee’s blog. I’m so sorry for your loss. This is such a touching post–I had to wipe the old eyes a couple of times. Thanks for being so candid. I hope each day gets a bit easier.
I hope my cute Niece and Nephew are okay! How sad
hang in there Brigitte!
Nancie told me I needed to read this.. It would make me cry. I didn’t cry but I really did feel your pain. When you have a pet long enough they really do become a part of your family. When people argue that animals have no soul, I’ve never believed that about pets because I think somehow we give a little bit of ours to them. So right now Kitty is kicking back in the giant bird cage in the sky eating all the popcorn she wants.