See Hear Speak No Evil

i love where i live, but man this weather can effing SUCK IT. and suck it hard.

it’s a blizzard outside right now. we’re supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow out of this storm, then another buttload of snow over the weekend.

snow is great for our economy, it’s great for the water levels in the summer, it’s great all around. i get it.

but can it snow somewhere besides HERE? i mean REALLY.

p.s. paul, i love you and thanks for shoveling all the snow. i’d die without you. well i wouldn’t die, but i’d be cranky as hell. i’ll get you a snowblower next year…and it’ll probably not snow at ALL next winter. kinda like washing the car on a sunny day, only to have the heavens open up and unleash 647 kazillion gallons of the dirtiest water ever seen onto the earth…and all over your freshly washed car.

p.s.s. so much for me giving up the sarcasm, mackenzie.

(Here is a picture of the entire crew… all except my son who was taking the picture.)

Why is the Magic Kingdom magical? It gets rid of your money for you fast. Everything in that place is expensive. Really expensive. I once watched a documentary on Disney and how they pumped the smell of popcorn out onto Main Street USA to get people to want to buy some. Well guess what? It works. Within 50 feet of entering the park my kids asked for cotton candy and popcorn. They didn’t get any. I am not about to stand in line for cotton candy when there are rides to ride. Plus, who really needs cotton candy? Don’t worry about my kids… I am NOT a terrible mom. They did get ice cream later that day.

(This is what WARM looks like.)

The Bibidy Bobbidi Boutique is a relatively new thing at Disney. I bet you are probably wondering what this is. You can take your daughter for a makeover in the Cinderella castle. Sounds great right? It costs somewhere between $44 and $179 dollars. Your daughter gets her hair done, her nails painted, some glitter put on her face, and then she picks out a princess dress if you pick out the biggest package. She totally gets to be a princess for the day. You totally get to show everyone in the park you have money to blow. I can’t even tell you how many girls were walking around that had been to the Boutique. I know I counted 20 while standing in one line. Even though it was my daughter’s birthday I was not going to pay that much for it. If she really wanted a dress I would have bought her one. I would have even done her hair. What a great piece of marketing. They are making a killing off of it.

(Don’t you love the hats? We received these for free for being in the right place at the right time. My husband wore his all day. What a good sport!)

Rides worth mentioning…

Space Mountain: The rollercoaster in the dark. Much scarier than the one in California. Thankfully we had my daughter wear her Heely’s. If not she would have been too short. The height requirement in Florida is much higher than in California. Space Mountain was my daughter’s favorite ride in California. Her life would have been ruined if she couldn’t ride it in Florida.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Much better in California. Although still alright to go on.

Haunted Mansion: The same in both locations. I always love going on this one. I need more ghosts at my house anyways.

Big Thunder Railroad: OMG the line on this think was LONG. SO FREAKING LONG! After going on this ride we started saying that “it looks like a Big Thunder line” to know we would pass on the ride. I think we were in line for well over an hour. If only the sign outside didn’t say it should only take 30 minutes. Liars! Now, this ride was WORTH it. Much better and longer than the California one.

(Waiting in line for Minnie was a “Big Thunder” line. The things we do for our kids.)

(Here are a few cute pictures of me and my son.)

We watched a few parades and went on a few other rides. Some of the rides we went on multiple times. The Buzz Lightyear ride was one of these rides. You shoot Zurg targets while riding in your “space ship.” I could never beat my husband or my father’s score. I am just glad I beat my sons. /whew

My kids loved the Magic Kingdom in Florida. What kid wouldn’t? I tell you the truth… I loved it too! There is something about it that brings the kid back out in you.

(If only Zurg would have kept them…)

Not much to really say about Tampa but it was NICE. I enjoyed my classes and learned a lot that should help my business this year. Now if I only had time to do all of it I would make tons of money. Well MAYBE I would.

You have already heard about the HoJo’s, and the beer problem. I have already mentioned it was warm. Now here are a few pictures from the Tampa Aquarium… at night. Kinda creepy. Especially when you watch the sharks. When the only light is coming from the aquarium it kind of makes you feel like you are underwater.

Here you go!

My good ol’ buddy, ol’ pal, Lu posted an informative blog on just this subject. See her post here. Just another pervasive chemical to watch out for when purchasing personal care products…
Thanks Lu!!!

life’s been rough for my son. i’m being sincere. unlike his sister, he really remembers having his dad around. and i think he wishes his dad was still here.

while i don’t want to live with his dad (we really are sooo much better apart), i wish his dad was here, too. to at least spend time with my son. it would be nice to have some help from someone who is obligated. (his dad lives very far away…)

my son is uber competitive - just like me. winning is EVERYTHING to him, and losing sucks ass. losing is NOT AN OPTION. and if you lose, you are worthless. ask him - he’ll tell you.

here’s the heartbreaker: when he loses, he cries. and i don’t just mean a few tears. i mean he has a meltdown freak out. (i’m sure he’ll kill me for blogging about this later, but this is KILLING me on the inside and i’m hoping that by sharing it, i’ll feel better and some wise soul out there will have some advice or insight.)

i know that both of my kids manage anger the same way i do: they hold it in until the boiling point, and then they yell when they can take no more. and then they cry.

go me.

i’m just at a point where i don’t know what else i can do to help my son along the path to success. he makes his own choices… and he often chooses poorly. he’s in trouble at school often (he talks too much, has too much energy, he’s too excited). he talks back to me and to paul. he’s a trial EVERY SINGLE DAY and i love him but wonder how much more i can handle. i KNOW he is a smart kid…i’ve seen proof. he’s bored at school…that’s obvious. and he loves to make people laugh, so he digs clowning around. bored + funny = TROUBLE. (and i suck at math!!)

i talk to my children like they are adults. they aren’t babies and i don’t baby them. i don’t lie to them (shhh, mrs. g!!) when they ask tough questions. i give frank, honest answers. i have very high expectations, but i don’t chastise when they fall short of those expectations. i give praise, teach lessons and hand out hugs and kisses like nobody’s business. i’m their BIGGEST fan.

why do i feel like i’m STILL doing something wrong?

when i was a kid, i cried very easily. i’m not sure why. i just remember being teased endlessly at school for it. and i hated myself. school was dreadful for me…up until about the 8th grade i graduated from high school. my parents, bless their hearts, were of the school that looks don’t matter.

hello? of course in the BIG PICTURE looks don’t matter…but as a kid? they are ALL THAT MATTERS. sad as that may be, it’s true. it’s hard enough being a kid, let alone a homely kid.

and i was. huge glasses. dorky hair. dorky clothes.

i do not want my kids to experience this same pain. while it’s made me who i am today…i don’t wish it on anyone. i’d rather they develop healthy self esteem and a great sense of humor. i still suffer from a damaged psyche and i have horrible self esteem…not to be confused with self worth.

it’s critical for me to get my son UN angry. it’s critical for me to convey to him the importance of FUN..and how it’s NOT synonymous with winning. it’s critical for me to let him know it’s OK to cry…but if he wants to maintain his status as “one cool dude” he can’t do it in the settings he’s been choosing.

i cannot bear the thought of other kids laughing at him or picking on him. it makes me want to beat the crap out of somebody’s kid. with a stick. and then finish with the soles of my boots.

um, yeah. i HAVE mentioned my anger flare ups, right? i go into these funks where you do not want to talk to me. don’t even look at me wrong. and if the stress has piled up, i’ll say something really bitchy (read: MEAN AS HELL) that i cannot take back. and at the time, i don’t even want to take it back.

it’s all so awful because i’m feeling like such a failure as a mother. like i’m really doing something wrong. please don’t leave a comment and tell me i’m a great mom. that’s NOT why i’m writing this post. i don’t need the validation. what i need is to know that i’m NOT ALONE in feeling like this. why OH WHY didn’t someone tell me HOW MUCH FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY i would have in giving life to a helpless soul??? did i miss something along the way? did i refuse to see?

i realize i’m rambling a bit here, so i’ll stop. what’s most interesting to me about the progression of this post is this: i started writing about the growing pains of MY SON…and really…this might be about me.

i’ve just deleted EVERY SINGLE CONTACT in my cell phone.

OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

i had almost 200 numbers in there.

ok, i want to die now. kill me now.

this might be one of the worst days of my life.

ok so maybe not. but this really, really sucks. big time.

oh and email me your number, ok???

***UPDATE*** ok, so i synced my phone with my lappy…and I GOT MY EFFING NUMBERS BACK. but something is still really wrong with my phone. i’m going to spend lots o time with the palm tech support dudes tomorrow. wish me luck!

i’ve been playing the indoor soccer for the last three weeks now. the first two weeks, we lost each of our games by only one goal, even though i felt like the other teams were significantly better than our team. after those first games, i thought our team was decent…especially for not having ever played together before, and because i haven’t really played soccer for real since i was about 15.

last night, however, was a different story.

i want to preface this by saying we officially got the win, because their team had to forfeit. however, they rounded up enough players in 5 minutes so we could still play a match.

i’m 31 years old. i’m not ashamed to say that. i don’t want to speak for all the other girls on our team, but most of us are this age. i did the math and our average age is 30.25…and that’s with me guessing how old some of the other ladies are.

the team we had to play against last night was unbelievably talented. also, their average age was probably 17. i’m NOT KIDDING.

when you are behind by 5 points, you get to have an extra player on the field. so we had 4 ladies, plus a goalie, to their 3 girls and a goalie. after the first 5 minutes or so, we had an extra player on the field for the rest of the game. let me repeat: an extra player FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

we still got schooled. HARD CORE.

these skinny bitches girls absolutely killed us in passing. their shot power was amazing (i know…i played goalie…) and they could run like nobody’s business. we gave it our best effort…but fell so short.

did i mention that in the sports world…I AM ANCIENT? in sports, my body really is like the parthenon. lovely, but falling apart.

and they showed us NO MERCY. ZERO. i could use four million cliches to describe what the game was like, but i’ll spare you.

final score: 13 - 3.

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.