See Hear Speak No Evil

i’ve really enjoyed the challenge to post every day in the month of november. for the rest of you participating in NaBloPoMo, i’m aware that you don’t have the luxury of sharing posting responsibility with two bloggings pals like i do.

with that said, i’m so effing glad this is OVER. it’s been somewhat stressful making sure we have a post for every single day, including WEEKENDS!! (insert horror film music here) you see, i’m kinda anti-internet on the weekends. i don’t like to sit on a computer on my days off, because i use a computer all day long at my job.

because of this project, i’ve stumbled across blogs i may not have otherwise found. to see what blogs i recommend, check out our blogroll. the list IS long and i’m sorry for that, but i don’t want anyone to feel left out. i’ll keep reading your blog from now on and i’m grateful NaBloPoMo introduced ME to YOU. and if i’ve forgotten you…let me know. it’s possible i just spaced it off.

with that said, i may need to take the entire month of december off to recuperate. posting MAY be light.

Can someone enlighten me as to what exactly would happen if just one person on a plane did not hav their seat in an upright position during take-off or landing?

Would the brakes kick in and the plane come to a dead stop? Would it be so heavy that take off would be impossible or instead not landing would the plane fall out of the sky?

If you refuse to put your seat back into the upright position (who are we kidding?? Regardless of whether it’s in an upright position or not, you’re not really very far from vertical!) will you be escorted off the plane by security. All the while being treated like a hostile passenger?

Will the Captain or First Officer have to stop flying/steering/drinking coffee to come and tell you, personally, to “put your fucking seat in the upright position?”

Could I claim duress because I found a fucking wet diaper (inconsiderate fuck who didn’t toss it) in the pocket in front of my seat? Maybe it’s giving me huge amount of fear and ammonia nose burns and I NEED to have and iota of relaxation by leaving my seat laying back.

CAN YOU RESPECT THAT? Can you cut me some slack here? Do you know what I’ve been through by flying on your airline today?

Sure, I chose it, and you’re welcome, but maybe my experience has been so atrocious that I’m going to tell everyone I know and we’ll all boycott your airline. AND what’s this I hear about stale air on planes causing, or at the very least, leading to, illness. Do you want that I should broadcast that all over to friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends (like an internet virus)? Shall I tell them that unbeknownst to them they’re increasing their risk of getting sick by flying? Maybe they should drive. You see where I’m headed with this, right…?

But, if you let me leave my seat down for the duration of the flight, I’ll say nothing. Do we have a deal? I’ll need 100,000 bonus mil.es and free drinks for a year. That should shut me up.

True story…

This is an actual conversation that happened tonight between my kids and my husband while I was watching Heroes. A few words may have been changed, but the general idea is still there. I had my husband look over this to verify its authenticity.

Daughter: “Dad, is it alright if mommy has a boyfriend?”
Dad: “Your mommy has a boyfriend?”
Daughter: “Yeah, is that alright?”
Dad: “Um, who is your mommy’s boyfriend?”
Daughter & Son: “We don’t know his name.”
Dad: “Is he on T.V?”
Daughter & Son: “Yeah.”
Dad: “Is he Brad Pitt?”
Daughter & Son: “Yeah!”
Son: “Is he cool?”
Dad: “Yeah, he is cool.”
Son: “Is he cooler than you?”
Dad: “No, I am WAY cooler than Brad Pitt.”
Son: “What makes you cool? Do trophies make you cool?”
Dad: “Yeah, some trophies make you cool.”
Son: “Do sports trophies make you cool?”
Dad: “Yeah, they do.”
Daughter: “Well mom said we could buy trophies at Al’s for $4.”
Dad: “Well you have to EARN your trophy’s to be cool.”
Son: “What makes you cool? Being rich?
Daughter: “Being cute?
Dad: “Yeah, those things can make you cool.”
Daughter: “Does being on T.V. make you cool?”
Dad: “No that doesn’t make you cool.”
Daughter: “Well Hanna Montana and Zack and Cody are cool.”
Dad: “Your mom and dad know lots of people on T.V. Our friend Bryan is a chef on T.V.” And your mom knows Tom and Ryan who are on the radio.”
Daughter and Son: “Yeah, but they are only in Logan, so they are not cool. California people are WAY cooler.”
Dad: “The thing that makes you the most cool is if you do something you like, you are really good at it, and you can make money doing it.”
Son: “Well then dad that makes you cool.”
Dad: “Yes, I like computers, I make alright money… and that makes me WAY cooler than Brad Pitt.”

I guess they then went on to talk about my job and how I love what I do. They were happy that both of their parents are happy with their jobs. I would like to apologize at this time to both Tom and Ryan from KVNU. My kids apparently do not think you are cool since you are on the radio only in Logan. I am sorry.

I love the things kids say.

con·suc·cumb·tion (kun-suck-cump-shen)

n.

1. the state of giving into an overwhelming urge to consume
2. the act or process of submitting to consumption

In spite of her long-time antipathy towards fantasy novels, jess has been consuccumbed by the Kushiel’s Legacy trilogy by Jacqueline Carey.

consuccumbption: what happens when jess discovers a carton of pistachio ice cream and proceeds to eat the whole thing. or a bag of hot wings/blue cheese doritos collisions. while watching the real housewives of orange county on bravo, which may be one of the most shameless shows on television.

what have you consuccumbed (been consuccumbed by?? which is it?????) to? anything? typically it’s something you resist until you can NO MORE, then you give in…with gusto.

I tested our blog using the Blog Readability Test after seeing it posted on Craig and McKenzie’s blog. Their blog got a “genius” rating, ours did not.

I blame myself for spelling like a first grader.
I blame Jess for using all lower case like a kindergartner.
I blame Al for using potty language like ANYONE in elementary school, particularly fifth graders.

I love it.

**EDIT** the recipe is now on “taste no evil.” you know you want to click it. do it!

yes, i’m as shallow to be thankful for something like cheesecake. this year i bummed a recipe from a co-worker (thanks, *miley!) and made a marvelous pumpkin cheesecake for thanksgiving dinner with my parents and my sister’s family.

miley’s mom was nice enough to fax the recipe over to me (i guess she couldn’t figure out how to email it, but whatever) with little notes written on the recipe. i’ve never made a cheesecake before, but i DO know how to read and follow a recipe, so i thought i could pull it off. it didn’t take long to make at all and it turned out fabulous! it puffed up much higher than my springform pan, but settled back down as it cooled. i had anticipated this but that didn’t stop me from panicking just a bit in the meantime.

i’d share this recipe with you, but it’s not on my person at the moment. if you want it, leave a comment and i’ll email it to you in the form of a pdf attachment.

it’s been a relaxing and enjoyable weekend at my homestead. i hope it’s been the same for you! i’ll tell you all about it in a future post…believe me, there’s lots to tell! and…thanks for all the comments over the past few days. i’ve been too busy to respond to them individually, but i’m glad i made you laugh, cry, and spray your favorite beverage out of your nose. xoxo!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

Last night at dinner my husband and I were asking our kids what Santa was bringing them for Christmas. When you ask a question like this, you will probably get an interesting answer.

My daughter thinks she is getting a pink CD player with two Jesse McCartney songs. She is probably right.

My son seems to think he is either getting a pocket bike or a 4-wheeler. He is absolutely wrong.

This is when my husband and I explained that Santa wouldn’t be bringing either of those presents. My son argued that Santa can bring anything so he would bring the 4-wheeler. We agreed that Santa COULD but WOULDN’T. See Santa KNOWS that my husband and I would not be happy with my son having a motorized vehicle. Santa not only likes to make kids happy, he likes to make parents happy too.

Well I thought it would be fun to see what the kids thought Santa would bring me…

My daughter said, “Oh no, you better not ask for new kids!”

My son said, “You better not ask for a spanking machine either!”

I said, “Thank you both for the GREAT ideas to ask Santa for.”

I laughed and laughed. My kids are soooooo funny. This is why I love being a parent. Thank you kids. You made me smile.