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Archive for June, 2007

Jun 27 2007

My nephew and niece need your help!

Published by Bridge under bridge, health, kids

I am asking you to help… I understand if you can’t…

My nephew Isis and my new niece Phoenix have finally been diagnosed with Rigid Spine Muscular Dystrophy. It has taken over FIVE years to get this diagnosis. That is five years of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law worrying all the time. Having test after test done on Isis, and still not knowing what is wrong. It hasn’t been easy for their family. It hasn’t been easy for my family either. In many ways we are thankful that we know what they have. We are all finally done wondering. Now that we know though… we are all sad. Rigid Spine Muscular Dystrophy is not any easy disease to have.

Since Isis was 6 months old he has been fed by a feeding tube. Originally it was through his nose down to his stomach, but now he has a plug which is actually connected through his belly to his stomach. Everyday Isis sits for hours when a machine pumps food into his stomach. Tell me this… when was the last time you saw a 6 year old sit for hours to eat? How about a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 year old? Isis has done this his whole life. His parents taught him to read at a very early age, and so he either reads or draws to pass the time. I am attaching some drawings that Isis did, and that his mother colored for him.

Although there is no cure, there are ways to prolong life and help these children that have this disease. One is a cough assist machine that helps them cough. With Rigid Spine both my niece and nephew have very weak muscles. So weak in fact that Isis still cannot stand up by himself without having help or using furniture. He is six years old now. Phoenix cannot even sit, or does she even try to sit/crawl/scoot. We think she may be worse than her brother. The cough assist machine will will be used for both kids, and they will be hooked up in the morning to strengthen their lungs. Hopefully with this they can better fight off illness, and we can have them with us as long as possible.

My brother-in-law Nick is asking for donations for the cough assist machine. Even small donations will add up. It is not covered at all by insurance nor will he get one from the Australian government. Socialized medicine apparently doesn’t think it is necessary. I guess it isn’t, but will it ever help them. /sigh I am asking my friends and family to help me help them get this machine. I realize not everyone can donate, and I do not expect anyone to. I just want to give you the opportunity. Thank you friends!

Read below to find out how to donate, and to read up more about Rigid Spine. Nick has a blog and a website. The links are below. Thank you again!

From Nick… “Isis and Phoenix have a very rare disease called Rigid Spine Muscular Dystrophy. After attending a really great Muscular Dystrophy conference we discovered a machine that will help Isis and Phoenix to fight of Chest infections in the years to come. It is called the Cough Assist…

Attached is a flyer we are spreading around, because we are trying to get enough money for the machine which is $10,000 US.

If you can help us in any way please read the flyer, or visit the HERO: The Isis Barfuss Cough Assist Campaign website Nick built to find out how you can help. http://www.nickbarfuss.com/hero

Even if you can’t (which is totally fine, please don’t feel like you have to!) check out the following websites to find out more about Isis and Phoenix and their condition!

http://www.nickbarfuss.com/hero

A site created by Nick to help raise awareness about the importance the Cough Assist Machine for Isis and Phoenix.

http://rigidspine.blogspot.com/

**edit by jess**
dear friends and readers in the blogosphere…please help us by linking to either this page or directly to the websites nick has created (links above). we really want to get the word out here and raise awareness as much as we can… got any ideas? send them to us by email (bestmonkeyfriends AT yahoo DOT com) or leave a comment on this post. xoxo

9 responses so far

Jun 26 2007

new fave summer bbq item

Published by jess under jess

…is chicken kebabs. you can’t mess them up, and everyone in my family loves them!!

i marinate chicken in random marinades (sprite and limes, store-bought marinade, soy sauce and mountain dew, etc.) for 2-3 days. then i open a can of pineapple chunks, cut up a red onion, a green pepper and buy a pound of thinly sliced virginia ham. soak wooden skewers for 10-20 minutes (or they may catch fire) while you cut up the other veggies. cut the chicken into bite-size chunks. thread chicken and veggies onto the skewers. fold a slice (or two) of ham into fourths or eighths and put it right in the middle of the skewer. grill for 12-15 minutes, then baste with kc masterpiece honey barbeque sauce right at the end. serve with miller lite.

you could serve almost anything with miller lite and it’d make me happy.

these are tasty and i wish i could eat them every single day. brace yourself, this may be the july recipe unless i come up with something else real quick.

3 responses so far

Jun 26 2007

i am a guest blogger

Published by jess under jess, my two cents

…so if you wanna check out my recent stab at journalism, go here.

mwah. i love you, dear reader. come back for more of the evil monkeys soon.

Comments Off

Jun 24 2007

Religion in Politics?

Published by Bridge under bridge

The history of the United States is somewhat complicated. I admit freely that I am particularly forgetful on key points. One of my good friends is an history teacher at a local high school. He often quizzes me about important American history facts. I fail every time. Miserably even.

I do know that our forefathers and ancestors immigrated to the colonies to to better their lives. Many of them wanted to free themselves from religious persecution. In a perfect world that would have happened. Yet religion was often still an issue.

Today it is still an issue.

“Mitt Romney for President in 2008? Should I vote for him? I hear he is a Mormon…”

I personally believe that it doesn’t matter what religion someone believes in, as long as they are a good person. I even know agnostic people that I believe are great, and even some atheist. I cannot personally vouch for Mitt Romney. I do not know him. I also have not followed his political career. To be honest, I haven’t really paid attention to any of the candidates for president. Guess I should pay attention.

To my point…

I am just really annoyed that Romney’s religion is more of an issue than the issues he represents. I am completely unaware of what religion, if any, is practiced by the other presidential candidates. Are they Catholic, Baptist, Buddhist, Scientologist or what? Does it matter? Really? I would think that the job they would do is much more important. They are actually applying for a job. It happens to be a very important job, but a job. I know believing in God is very important to most Americans. I know that their President believing in God is also important. It represents the majority.

Mormons happen to believe in God. If you didn’t know this… surprise! The fact that many people do not realize this still stumps me. I know that Catholics also believe in God, as do Baptist, even Southern Baptist. Y’all can just thank me later. Scientologist happen to believe in L Ron Hubbard. If Scientologist happened to believe in George Lucas… you could just sign me up now. /wink

In conclusion, please pay more attention to what issues your candidate is representing than what issues others bring up about them. I do not know who I will be voting for in 2008, but I do know I will be watching very closely at what each candidate says about the other candidates. In Utah I am a minority as I happen to be a Democrat. I am also very liberal for Utah. The other day I was even called a “Godless Liberal” by a family member. /sigh I may be a liberal, but I am not Godless.

5 responses so far

Jun 20 2007

Last Saturday my son almost died…

Published by Bridge under bridge, kids

Yes, you read that correctly. Last Saturday my son almost died. He is FINE. Let me put that out there for all of you before you worry too much.

How did he almost die?

My son picked up a rattlesnake. A young, very venomous, very real rattlesnake. I know it was a rattlesnake because I took a picture of it at the end of it all.

He WASN’T bitten. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I am just very thankful.

Now that you know all the important parts I will begin the story.

I had decided to take my husband and family camping for fathers day. My husband loves to camp. I hate it. I hate it even more now. Anyways, I went shopping and purchased all the food required for this weekend retreat. Gram crackers, marsh mellows, chocolate… can you tell we made smores? I also picked up some chicken and potatoes for dutch oven cooking. Yum. My husband was in charge of packing the tent, sleeping bags, and all the other camping equipment. He did a great job.

Saturday morning my husband went and picked out a camping spot up Logan Canyon. Guinavah-Malibu was his camp site of choice. The site was great. Close to the bathrooms and nicely shaded. He took the kids up early and set up camp. I had to work until 5:30 p.m. that night, so I arrived around 7:00 p.m. I finally arrive and the kids go nuts. The are very excited that I am there. The really cool feature at this particular campsite is there is an amphitheater. My husband and I actually got married there.

My husband and kids all brought their guitars so they wanted to perform on the stage. We go up and they all take turns performing. My husband plays real songs while my kids strum and make up songs. Quite entertaining. It is fun to hear what they come up with. During my daughters performance my son goes down the side steps to come around and sit by me. He decided, I guess, to go the “long” way. Then he starts calling me,”Hey Mom! Come here!” He sounded really excited and honestly WAS. /shudders I stand up and walk behind the amphitheaterwhere he is now located. He bends down and picks up a snake and starts laughing.
Alright, we ALL now know how much I really HATE snakes. Any snakes.

Here is the dialog and my observations at this point:
Me: PUT THAT SNAKE DOWN!
Son: Why? Is it venomous?
(At this particular time I cannot tell that it is a rattlesnake. I am about 15 feet away and it is small. It also looked slightly yellow to me, but alarm bells were ringing in my head.)
Me: I DON’T KNOW. PUT THE SNAKE DOWN!
Son: I want to show dad.
Me: PUT THE SNAKE DOWN!
Son: If I swing it this way mom it can’t bite me.
(He starts swinging the snake in a circle. He is holding the snake by the tail. He also starts running towards me since he KNOWS I am scared of snakes.)
Son: Dad! I got a snake!
Dad: Let me see it.
Me: PUT THE SNAKE DOWN! (seems this is all I could say)
Dad: (takes snake by tail) Um, this is a Rattlesnake Brigitte.)
Me: SON, GET AWAY FROM YOUR DAD NOW!!! THAT SNAKE IS POISONOUS!
(My son steps away and I pull him back. My husband walks away and puts the snake down. FINALLY)
Me: Son, did you get bitten? Honestly, tell me now. Did the snake bite you? I need to know if I have to take you to the hospital right now.
Son: Um… no.
Me: Son, you have to tell me now. Did it bite you anywhere?
Son: NO MOM!
(My husband comes back now)
Me: Dad, did the snake bite you?
Dad: No.
Me: Are you sure? Check.
(This is when I personally check my son and husband for bites. I honestly don’t believe either of them.)

In conclusion, both my son and husband are fine. Neither was bitten. I have checked my son at least five times a day since this event. I keep looking at his feet and hands. I know how serious this is. If that snake would have bitten my son he would most likely be dead right now. At the least his arm would have been amputated. The smaller rattlesnakes supposedly have three times the concentrate of venom. I am very thankful that this didn’t end up a tragedy. Around 8000 people are bitten each year by venomous snakes in the United States. Around 15 of them die each year. Most of the deaths occur in children and people who weigh less than 120 lbs. I’ve been studying. Just go to the links to read for yourself.

I am very relieved, but I am also very angry. I am angry at myself that I didn’t teach my son better. I have a snake book and have often read it to him. I have shown him what a rattlesnake looks like. We have a lot around here. I am very angry with myself for not explaining in absolute detail what we should do when we see this type of snake. I have said that we leave them alone and get away. Obviously it wasn’t enough. Now he knows that he is NOT allowed to pick up any snakes at all, unless his dad says he can. NO SNAKES. NONE. So if his dad is not there… too bad. I made this point clear. I make it clear everyday.

I have also cried everyday. The emotions that go through me astound me. One second I am fine, and then the next I am bawling. I can’t help it. I just keep thinking “what if?” I really could use some type of muscle relaxer, Valium, mind-altering drug (not that I am endorsing them at all) to get my mind off of this. I have to take Tylenol PM at night just to finally fall asleep. I hope this goes away someday. Any advice?

I love my son.
I love my husband.
I love my daughter.
I love my parents.
I love my friends. All of you.

4 responses so far

Jun 20 2007

statistics…

Published by jess under humor, jess

…are not for me. i like to read them, but calculate them? please. i can’t even balance my checkbook.

i don’t want to freak anyone out, but we keep stats on our blog readership. one of the most interesting stats is the keyword analysis, which is becoming my favorite place to see how people get to our blog. what’s kind of disturbing is there seems to be a common theme developing and i am not sure if i like it.

here are a few of my personal favorites…and i swear these are REAL SEARCH TERMS. i haven’t modified them in any way. for your reading convenience, search terms are bolded, my commentary is not.

  • kids have to pee - well… this is just a fact. kids always have to pee, don’t they?
  • qwest is evil - they ARE. read here. and then here.
  • sprite remove skunk smell - ew!! i don’t remember ever writing about this.
  • kill spiders using vinegar - ha ha ha! die, spiders, DIE!
  • old cat howls all night - interesting…
  • have i broken my nose - this one is bridge’s fault.
  • why do we no longer need overhead bridges - ha ha…bridge…AGAIN.
  • mucinex dm trip - well, the post was never about tripping on mucinex dm. the authors of this blog in no way advocate using over-the-counter medication illicitly or in a manner other than prescribed on the box. what i am saying is this sounds like a bad idea. what if you saw those little green men ALL NIGHT while tripping? yikes…
  • no no mommy you evil! - i’d like to blame bridge for this, but i am not 100 percent sure i can pass the buck.
  • talk like a stormtrooper - soooo not me!! but i didn’t know stormtroopers even talked.
  • woman peed in pool - uh, WHAT? one, two, three…not it!
  • dreams of spiders and monkeys - you are not alone, whoever you are. i have them all the time. really.
  • nice cuticles - probably not al. we just got her to shave last year.
  • using weird things as dildos - hmmm…i’ve never used weird things. on one hand, i am quite disturbed our blog showed up when someone searched on this. on the other hand, cool!
  • birthday fairy card bitch - this one is just funny.
  • mother effing crazy moms - i mother effing take offense to this.
  • your crazy mom - MY crazy mom? no, YOU are!!
  • what kind of fruit to soak in everclear - there’s a great recipe for jungle juice on here…just scroll down. you should be 21 to read the recipe, btw. thanks for following the law. and by the way, don’t soak the fruit in the everclear, unless you want to die. just add it to the punch when you mix it all up.

here’s what i am upset didn’t show up in the search terms: best friends, dirty old RDB, football, happy birthday jess!, bridge loves jesus, al loves pink, jess is the best golfer ever, jess has a hot body, bridge is rich, al is famous, etc.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to run. i’ve got to get a manicure, stop at the liquor store, swing by home depot for spider killer, reschedule my stormtrooper impersonation class, tell my kids not to pee in the pool and get some sprite to get the skunk smell out of my car. and i have to call qwest to bitch about their crappy customer service.

3 responses so far

Jun 19 2007

have you called me recently

Published by Al under al

… and wondered to yourself

“self how is it that Al’s message seems to be directed at ME? I mean, it says my name on it, or something personal to me. How in the hell is she doing it? Is she just that freaking cool?”

Of course I’m that freaking cool. I can’t believe you would ever suggest anything different. I’m almost appalled enough to change your personal message greeting to something else. Don’t tempt me buddy. I’ll do it. I’m not ascared, you know.

If you haven’t called and heard your personal greeting, well then, let me take this opportunity to say that you should call.

and you should look at youmail.com

2 responses so far

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