See Hear Speak No Evil

Archive for May, 2007

May 21 2007

frankly, sir, i don’t give a damn

Published by jess under jess

today something that i have known all along became crystal clear.

in order to get to my point, i have to give some background. i’ve gone thru several chapters in my life and i’ve flip-flopped (credit to john kerry for giving us the term flip-flopper. it now means so much more than just footwear!) several times on women’s issues. i liked boys. then i hated them. then i didn’t need them. i went through some feminist crap…you know that whole movement where women think men are irrelevant?

well, those women are wrong. but whatever. they have their right to believe whatever they want.

for the past few years, i have been a lover of man. one in particular, in fact. sometimes i wonder if he really knows how lucky he is. our relationship is great. i respect him greatly and admire his manly qualities…like mowing the lawn, his strong hands on my girlie skin and his ability to grow more body hair than anyone else i know. he’ll kill me for saying that, but he’ll laugh about it too, so i think it’s ok. lol. really, babe. if you ever read this, i think you are the best. the BEST.

so, now that i’ve established that i am a- not a feminist and b- lover of men, on to my point.

it’s incredibly hard to be a professional woman. it takes a great deal of tact to work with men. my emotions used to get in the way, but i got over that very quickly. i know now that little tiffs at work are rarely personal. personalities can intensify the tiff, but they don’t usually start that way.

at least with adults, that is. hmph.

today i kind of lost my cool. and i spoke up for myself. i know that i came across as a complete bitch and those who were involved probably think i was on the rag (i am not, btw), stressed out, hungry or needed to get laid or get more sleep. whatever. it was none of these things. being assertive is hard!!! being a woman in the workplace is a struggle. i think men have it easy at work…i really do. hopefully some man reader out there will correct me.

at least i know that i was right. ha.

now if you’ll excuse, the bachelor has to break someone’s heart tonight. i can’t wait!!

8 responses so far

May 19 2007

The things kids say…

Published by Bridge under bridge, kids

**Note** I actually wrote this post weeks ago. I finally decided to post it since I have nothing else I can actually write about. Not that I don’t have stuff to write about… just that I currently CAN’T write about it. Let’s just say I had a really shitty last week. If you really want to know about it send me an email.

**End Note**

Warning, this post is not being censored… Possibly should be, but it isn’t.

If you do not like foul language, DO NOT READ THIS POST.
Once again… foul language. Hello, if you hate foul language why are you still reading? Trust me… STOP!
I warned you…

I am about to tell you a true story. An unfortunately true story.

How do you know when it is time to clean up your language? Not always an easy question for some adults. It could be when your mom washes out your mouth with soap. It could be when you get in trouble by a teacher. It could be when you decide to have kids. For my husband… It is when my children used bad language in the correct context.

Here is some important information to the set-up of the story:

My son at the time is 4 years old.

My daughter was only 2 years old.
It is a Sunday morning.
I, the non morning person, was asleep.
My husband, tired from staying out late with some of his friends, is currently awake with the kids.
My kids call Chex cereal the “square kind”. Not to be confused with “round kind” which is Kix.

Daughter: Dad I am hungry.

Dad: Alright, I will get you some cereal.

This is when my husband goes and gets some cereal and pours it for our poor starving children. He adds the milk, and gets their drinks ready. Then he puts the bowls in front of my children at the table. Remember he is REALLY tired.

Daughter: (looks at cereal in disgust) I wanted the God damned square kind.

Dad: (looks at daughter in a startled manner)

Son: Yeah dad, and shut the fucking curtains!

So my husband got the God damned square kind and he shut the fucking curtains.

What else could he do? Then he came and woke me up to take care of them. He had enough for one morning. He later told me that was when he realized then that he needed to watch what he said.

I swear this story is true.

Since then we have taught our children that potty language is only acceptable in “the potty.” Makes for interesting dinners when one of our children really wants to say something bad. The get up from dinner and go in the bathroom and shout bad words like “poop, shut up, and stupid.” Doesn’t get rid of the fact that you still hear it, but at least you know they are learning when to use it. LOL.

4 responses so far

May 16 2007

i’m a crazy mom

Published by jess under jess, kids

my son’s been invited to try out for competitive soccer. omg.

first thought: my son rocks at sports! bitchin!

second thought: holy shit balls!! how much money is this going to cost me??

third thought: omg. what if he doesn’t make the team? how will i make his hurt go away.

fourth thought: of course he’ll make it. he’s b’dass!!

as you all know (all three of you who even bother to read this drivel), i coached my daughter’s soccer team this spring. i am insane sports nut and an even more insane sports mom. i am competitive. i yell at the kids. i yell at the ref. i boo at bad calls. occasionally, (ok, often) i display what most would refer to as poor sportsmanship.

sfw?

winning is IMPORTANT. ask ANYONE who loses EVERYTHING if winning matters. this bullshit we feed kids about how winning isn’t important is no good. it totally matters. to get ahead, you have to be the best. the smartest. the most attractive. you have to know the right people. you have to be in the right place at the right time. winning really matters.

having fun matters, too. of course it does. if you win, but you aren’t having fun, then that isn’t good either. there’s definitely a fine line there. but i ask you this: is losing fun? of course not, but you can lose and still have a great time in the process. it’s ok to lose. but i think it’s wrong to teach kids that losing is every bit as good as winning. that is a big fat huge lie. it opens up the door across the hall from the door labeled “do your best.” the door across the hall says “it’s ok to screw up as long as you claimed you did your best even when you know you really didn’t.”

this line of thinking…i like to call it Hey! Mediocrity is Fine by Me! seems to be as common as VISA Accepted Here.

losing gives you a reason to improve. to practice. to go back to school. to fight for what’s right. to gain motivation. to get out there and KICK SOME ASS.

i told you i was crazy.

if my son doesn’t make this team, i might die. i don’t know who wants it worse: me or him. jeez!!

p.s. JESS IS BACK IN DA HOUSE!!!

4 responses so far

May 13 2007

we’re alive…i promise…

Published by jess under jess

it’s been a rough time around these parts in northern utah. maybe al can blog about new mexico to fill in the gaps.

holli…i PROMISE we will call you. bridge may explain all later.

bridge needs good thoughts. send them her way.

thanks for your support.

happy mother’s day to all the moms!

xoxo

4 responses so far

May 06 2007

I think my nose is broke…

Published by Bridge under bridge

Ouch.

Ouch Ouch…

I am in pain.

Last night I started to toss and turn. I woke up realizing I had to go pee. I slowly start to sit up when my husbands arm came slamming into my face. Not sure if it was his elbow. Could have been anything. I really have no clue.

It was dark… I couldn’t see.

I was in a lot of pain… I couldn’t see.

See where I am going here?

I sat there for a bit thinking it was going to start to pour blood. Nope.

I finally went to the bathroom and couldn’t see anything. I didn’t want to touch my nose. It hurt.

During this entire time my husband is apologizing profusely. He was asleep when it happened, but when he whacked my face it woke him up quickly.

Today my face hurts from the top of my eyes, to my lips, and across both cheeks. Maybe my nose isn’t broken, maybe it is just bruised. ???

When I was young a doctor had to cauterize my nose because of constant nosebleeds. I haven’t had one since. I also do not have black eyes. Has anyone had something similar? I feel like a wimp.

7 responses so far

May 06 2007

blogger’s block…

Published by jess under jess

well. it seems as though i’ve been living in a black, black cloud lately.

warning: the rest of this may seem a bit whiny. bear in mind that i am fully aware your life sucks, too…you might be having a bad day, your family is suffering some hardship, etc. i know all these things. i realize my struggles may pale in comparison to what you’re experiencing, so if you don’t want to read any farther, don’t. the truth is…if i whine about it, maybe i’ll feel better. so there!!

i’ve had horrible blogger’s block. my thoughts are clogged. maybe i am just unwilling to share them with you, dear reader. maybe the inside of my mind is so scary, such a vault, that i don’t want to let you in…

whatever the case may be. i can’t write. and it sucks. i can’t do the self-portrait challenge. i can’t get caught up with housework and laundry. at the end of the day…i’ve got very little left to give to the people i love the most: my kids and paul.

it’s horribly selfish… and i hope that someone can a- relate and b- forgive me. sometimes i just want to be responsible for ME. i don’t want to have to take care of others.

i’ve watched the secret a bunch of times. and this power of attraction thing isn’t working for me. i hope it’s a phase. it seems that just when i think i am getting caught up financially, i get hit with yet another setback.

it’s been a struggle being a divorced mom. day care is expensive. and i think i am just worn down.

the sun was out today. it’s supposed to be warm all week. i get to play golf on tuesday…

and even though i feel down right now…at least i can feel. at least i am alive. i am thankful for that.

now…go get a drink… hopefully an alcoholic one..or at least a caffeinated one…and hope the old, funny, sarcastic jess comes back soon.

4 responses so far

May 03 2007

Lets Go Jazz!!!

Published by Bridge under bridge

The Utah Jazz…

I am sooo proud of them tonight. My mom, my daughter and I went to their playoff game tonight.

They are now 3-3.

I am now poor.

1 hot dog to share
1 nacho to share
one apple juice for a little girl
three “adult” apple juices for me (don’t tell my mom she wasn’t sitting by me and doesn’t know)
two kid ice creams

I just hope they win on Saturday.

3 responses so far

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