See Hear Speak No Evil

so, i wonder if it is possible to truly appreciate your own mother BEFORE you have your own kids. i am not so sure that it is. i was thinking about this today as i sped home from work after a meeting with our mar/comm manager to catch my son’s starring role in a halloween reader’s theater at his school. i cannot count the times where i have had to make a crappy choice between my kids and my job… i am certain there are many other moms out there who can relate.

this is me when my kids go on and on and on and on and ON about whatever.

i love them, they just talk so damn much. about nothing. i truly love it when i get to have real conversations with them.

this is also me when they bitch about eating something i have cooked. sit down, shut up and eat. i love you.

call it a weakness, a crutch, whatever, i don’t care. I MUST HAVE caffeine on a daily basis, preferably before 9 a.m. chai, a cup of coffee, a diet mountain dew, or a diet coke with lime. i don’t care what it is, just give me the caffeine. maybe i could just get a shunt in my arm for a steady stream of caffeine to be delivered to my cells intravenously.

the following conversation REALLY took place… on the phone. i was at work. jenna even dialed me up herself.
me: hello?
jenna: mommy? this is jenna. (as if i couldn’t tell) you forgot my dance clothes and i have dance today. TRANSLATION: you are the worst mother ever. thanks a bunch for taking care of me
me: aw…honey. i am sorry. we were sure late this morning, weren’t we? note: we were late b/c jenna didn’t want to brush her hair or get dressed. she was very cranky and threw one of her “morning episodes.”
jenna: can you bring them now?
me: i will work something out.

although i don’t have a uterus, i still have ovaries. this means that once a month, i am especially pleasant to be around.

the trick is to identify WHEN that time is. not only do i have absolutely NO idea, other people seem to struggle with my mood swings, too.

do i really need to say anything about this one?

and is there anything MORE awful than YOUR OWN mom being right when you are an adult mother with children of your own?

maybe your mother-in-law being right. yes, that might be more awful.

my son, who is practically a rocket scientist (just ask him, he’ll tell you!), is always in one way or another, letting me know how retarded i really am. bless him for keeping me grounded.

Well, I was just going to post a comment, but I decided to post a whole thang.

There are 404 Jessica XXXXXXX in the United States. That is with my maiden name, because the database didn’t recognize my married last name. Huge bummer, since I no longer wish to be associated with my ex-husband in any way, shape or form.

734,923 ladies in the USA are named Jessica, making it the 61st most popular name. This led me on the quest to find the most popular. Mary, my first guess, is 5th. But I can’t find the most popular female name in this database. Crap. The search ends.

My last name (maiden) is the 171st most popular. Smith is the 1st most popular last name. Jones is 4th and is tied with Brown.

So, what the hell IS in a name, anyway? Looks like NOTHING.

I would like to thank my friend Karen for blogging about this.

Visit her site at…

www.kismet626.blogspot.com

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 4 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

There are 13,499 people in the U.S. with the first name Brigitte.
Statistically the 1580th most popular first name. (tied with 104 other first names)
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Brigitte are female.

There are 77,992 people in the U.S. with the last name XXXXXXX.
Statistically the 426th most popular last name. (tied with 19 other last names)

I am just thankfull that 99.9 percent of all Brigitte’s are FEMALE. Can you imagine? HAHAHA.

Yeah, me either.

Yeah, I have been missing from blogging for a few days.

Have you noticed?

Nope…

I figured you hadn’t. I wish I could say I have been out saving the world. Or doing something important like carving a pumpkin…

Oh wait! I did do that.

Now this is the time Jess should run and scream.

Why you ask?

Because I am a photographer, and I took pictures of her this weekend.

No, I won’t post them here. I am NOT that mean. Plus she looked good in all the pictures I took. I really would need to take bad pictures of her to post them here. It is not like I am nice or anything.

Anyways, I had a fun Saturday with Jess and her entire clan.

We went to a pumpkin walk.

We ate dinner.

We carved pumpkins.

We played poker…

Let’s just say my last hand at poker I had a 4 of a kind… plus I could of switched down to a full house… and still beat Jess’s boyfriend. My last hand rocked!

If Jess approves… I’ll post some pictures of us. If not… I’ll post some bad pictures of her.

Either way…

You win.

well, as you can tell, we never made it over to the EM:HE site. too much going on this week! bummer.

ah, well, have a great weekend. i will be what i call “off the grid” all weekend. it ain’t the same as what you call off the grid, but it is still what i call it so there.

did any of that make sense? what i mean is i will be, for the most part, unavailable online. wish me luck with my fantasy football team and GO Chargers!

xoxo

so I got this email from my brother the other day with a website (http://www.zabasearch.com/) that houses a database. It seems as though this database allows unknown persons (NOT the feds because they already have this info) to search for you and then pay money to get your personal information.

There were 6 hits on my name (not an easy one to mistake for someone else) that included previous addresses, etc.

I always knew that people with loads of money (aka ad firms, marketing people, etc.) would be able to purchase such information but letting the general public do so is not something I’m crazy about. Think about it.

You meet a 10 in a bar and (because you’ve had a few) you give him your real name. Well, he really digs you, and why shouldn’t he? You’re a 1!- and wants to find out more about you, your name, your #, your birthday, your address, etc.
Wow! I’m stoked about that. I don’t know how much these services cost but would rather not have the option available for Mr. 10 to find me by looking me up in a database.

I’d like to give a big shout out to technology for this. I love you technology. You’ve made it possible for me to remove words from documents and emails without white out and you’ve made it possible for me to stay in constant contact with my buddies (TB and TR as I guess they’re called- hey ladies- thanks for giving me a new nick name, real nice…) via IM. You’ve done a whole host of other things for which I am grateful and pleased. But I put my foot down on this one.

/stomps foot